Thursday, March 30, 2006



I'm learning a tango. Not how to, generally. Just the one. A friend of my parents saw them at a country club dance and asked if I would be willing to learn a tango with him for the auditions for the Hospital Follies. They said to call me and ask. He did. And we've talked about it. He's very thrilled to get a "professional." A professional what, I wonder, because the last time I was cast as a dancer I broke my foot by falling off it. Performer, he said. So I've pulled out the DVD of Shall We Dance. I'm learning the big Tango in the middle. Learning to tango by oneself? V. difficult (sorry, still on my Bridget Jones kick). Learning to tango with 14 year old sister doing Richard Gere's part? Better, but difficult on the picky uppy parts where she tries to prove that she's hercules, which usually ends with me on the floor. Learning the tango with Denise, who actually dances, with boyfriend Omar running the remote control so that the movie will play in slow motion while we figure out where my feet are supposed to go and what to do in the inconvenient film cuts? Much easier. As Denise is more qualified to identify specific footwork and pick me up when needed. However, it will be nice to get a MAN into the dance equation. Chemistry and upper body strength and all that.

And speaking of Bridget Jones, I'm sorely tempted to track down a tape player and listen to the rest of the thing. It may be my evening splurge, since nobody is calling me this evening. And there are several people I'd like to hear from, one that I would like very much to hear from as has been very busy, one I want to call but know I shouldn't, and several I should call, but don't want to this evening, as that would be a very long call from having not talked to them in ages.

Does anyone else emulate the style of writing of whichever author you are currently reading? In my case, I'm a little Helen Fielding combined with Laura Ingalls Wilder, as am listening to one and reading other. Read complete Little House on the Prairie books in past three days. Love being less employed but making more money. Love free time and daylight. Love fact that will have free summer in Yakima Daylight, even though means selling out in short term on old dream. Must get some purpose in life soon. Maybe next year. Right now am trying to pay off debts quickly so options will be open. Perhaps will move to England, or Seattle, or Provence or other such exotic locale. Must brush up on French, though.

Am done emulating Bridget. Though is easy. One must leave out small words and refer to self in third person.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

At long last, I have given in.

At long last, I have given in...

I checked out my first books on tape for the commute. I've always rather looked down my nose at them. But I'm tired of my own music and shouldn't spend any more money for now. Currently listening to: Bridget Jones; the Edge of Reason. Complete and Unabridged. V. Good so far. Tapes listened to: 1. Tapes left to go: 7.

Next up is the Mermaid Chair, which I've thought looked good for a long time but didn't want to buy hardcover.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

And so, now what

And so, now what?

I opted not to audition for Leavenworth this year. I just can't get myself geared up to relocate again in another couple of months, and with all the moving and packing, I didn't have time to adequately prepare for the audition. I'm still young enough to do it next year.

Yesterday I went to Starbucks on 72nd to do devotions over a cup of Caramel Apple Cider. The two men sitting next to me are either pastors somewhere, or very devoted laypeople. I kept overhearing snatches of conversations about church building, pastors, etc. And as I left, they were praying.

I'm feeling at a loss over not doing this audition. Part of it has to do with being in touch with former studio mates now that Stacey is sick again. I don't feel like a failure, exactly, though that has come up, but I feel adrift. I don't know why I'm here. I'm at peace, or maybe resigned about where I am, the decisions I've made, and the places I've been since leaving Baylor, but one can only drift for so long. Or at least I can. I am at peace about quitting the mission. Conformation of that is the fact that I was instantly able to sleep through the night without pills, and I gained back 12 pounds in two and a half weeks. I really like my new job. I think I can make some good money for the first time in several years, and I may be able to finish paying things off and be done with it all. And then what?

I could go back and try performing again. Or I could travel. I'm kind of burned out on ministries for the time being.

Sunday I went to an Assembly of God church with a friend who is church hunting and I offered to go with him. Good sermon. Good music. Good powerpoint. Two altar calls. Lots of praying. Some praying in tongues and clap offererings and the like. To be expected. But it made for a two hour service. The sermon was on Psalm 23:6 "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death." He referenced last weeks sermon on problems, reminding us that if problems are of our own making, we need to repent; if they are temptations, we need to resist; if we are being tresspassed agains, we need to release and forgive; and if it is a trial, we need to hold on and trust God. Then he talked about going through the valleys -- and how they are inevitable. Everyone has them, Christian and non-Christian alike. The difference being a chance to figure out what God wants you to learn from you valley. Also valleys are great places to learn how to pray. I felt convicted there. I think I didn't spent nearly as much time praying and reading my Bible as I could have when I was going through all of the upheaval of the past few months. Partly because I was told that I ought to go off for a while and seek God. So of course, considering the source, that was the very thing I resisted. To my detriment and no one elses. But the last point of the sermon was that simply going through trials is not a judgement on your faith. That was comforting. I've been feeling like I failed somehow because I couldn't be what they wanted of me. And judged and found wanting. And unfit for ministry. So, now that I'm out of the ministry, I suddenly want to read my Bible, and go to church, and continue Bible study. I'd been doing the manditory things -- bible study and church attendance, but my devotions went down the drain. Now I'm getting back in the swing of things again. A little at a time. And hopefully tonight I'll be done with work early enough to make Bible Study at Jacksons. It's going to be a long day. I have to teach and then get almost immediately on the road to make it to work by 3.

10 reasons why men shouldn't be ordained

Teri, I know at least you'll get a kick out of this:

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Should Not Be Ordained

10. A man's place is in the army.

9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.

8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be "unnatural" for them to do other forms of work.

7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.

6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.

5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshipers.

4. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, and maybe even lead the singing on Father's Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.

1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.

Courtesty of the Ragamuffin Rambler.

Monday, March 27, 2006

More Adventures

More Adventures

So my big accomplishment this week? Flooding the downstairs of my parents' house. I put a sweater in the sink in the laundry room to soak, left the water running and forgot about it. 20 minutes of a nap later, I awoke to Mom screaming. The basement was under an inch of water in four rooms and the hallway. Dad grabbed the shop vac, the rest of us various carpet cleaners. My job was unloading the furnace room and keeping the water that was flowing that direction from making it into Mom's sewing room. Allie's bedroom got the worst of it. The other two rooms were tile floored. So her room is ripped to pieces with the carpet up and the hallway is still drying.

On the plus side, Dad is more than ready for me to move out now. All part of the master plan...

Friday, March 24, 2006

Working Girl

Working Girl

I've made really good money in tips the last two nights working. Last night we were slammed. They cut me lose and told me to "show them what I could do." I tried. But I never realized how nice it was at the Alisal to never have to deal with money. And I'm new to their computer system so it takes me FOREVER to put in an order. Then, splitting checks. I had to split a table of six three ways, a table of eight four ways, and another table of eight eight ways. Then they just started throwing money at me, and everyone was leaving at once, so I didn't have a chance to close things out as I went. In the end I rang everything up as exact change and hoped that covered it.

I had my first bad regular experience last night. Luckily they weren't my table. We had two large parties coming in for special occasions. Apparently the policy is first come first served as far as tables in the lounge go. But since we had to work around a party of 16, we did two reserved tables. The lounge filled up, some regulars came in, and sat themselves in the middle of my block of 8. I had to move them and they weren't happy. First we had a round of why tables aren't ever reserved. And when we tried to reserve a table they wouldn't let us. And the next time we come with a party of eight, we expect to have a table set aside for us. I directed them to some empty tables, but they didn't want to sit behind the fireplace. Some friends of theirs offered to let them join their party, but there wasn't enough chairs. I assured them we could probably round up a few chairs (this being a restaurant and all) but they weren't sure they wanted that either. What they seemed to want to do was position themselved in the middle of the one open walkway and complain loudly that they come here all the time and this has never happened before. On their way out the door after dinner I heard Dotty say that she'd see them next week. Their reply? Maybe. I don't know if we'll be back next week.

My audition for Leavenworth is Sunday morning, but I'm seriously disinclined to go. I'm in a position to rest for a while with a good job. I may just hold off until next year. I haven't made real money in a couple of years. If I just stayed put I might be in a position to finish my debt load this year.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Adventures in Housesitting

Adventures in Housesitting

Adventure may be too strong of a word to use. I primarily alternate between browsing on the internet, watching reruns of sitcoms, and reading. Jake and I went for a junk food break this afternoon. I bought some tostidos and salsa con queso, a few candy items, and a pint of Half Baked. It's funny. Now that I've quit my job I've started sleeping again on my own without the sleeping pills, and I'm gaining on average of a pound a day. Funny what three square meals and time off can do for a girl.

I have an audition this weekend for Leavenworth. I have mixed feelings about it. I've always said I would do their program someday. And this season they're doing Sound of Music, The Music Man, and Showboat. A truly stellar lineup for my voicetype. And I just make the cutoff for Maria (19-25) and Marian (25-35). For a day or two I've thought that I should put this off until next year. I have a new job that I love, and I've just moved, and getting into Leavenworth means moving again in three months, and again three months after that. That would take this year to an all new moving total of 5 times in 15 months. Mom and Dad convinced me to audition anyway just to see what happens, and then decide what to do from there. Plus, I'm really out of practice. We'll see what I can whip together this week. My audition is Sunday.

Seattle is in bloom. Last weekend as I flew back from Orange County, I noticed all of the fruit trees blooming on the descent. Today there are banks of daffodils. Purple hyacinth sprigs pop up out of nowhere. And tress that were bare four weeks ago are budding and some have leafed out. The birch trees are still holding out for warmer weather. The sun was out most of the afternoon. The perfect day to pull and adirondack chair into the sun and take Emma with me.

Pam called me this evening, another member of my "Blessed Company of all Faithful People." I haven't heard from them in a while, and with all the stress of the past few weeks, I haven't written a real letter in quite some time. They're living at the B&B while remodeling their house. They now have stained glass windows in the bedroom of their log cabin. Teri! It's the Blue Castle! (I'm so glad you liked that book, by the way. I found it at a library once, and it changed my life. Especially when she started making pithy cracks at her family during dinner. And, of course, Barney).

Tomorrow I drive back to Yakima with enough time to change clothes to teach. Mother did an in-service today at St. Pauls, so I anticipate some feedback. I'm going to wear out some more classes with the extra-athletic choreography to "Once an Austrian Went Yodelling." And I have the rest of a We Sing video to keep my kindergarteners occupied on Wednesday. I love video days. I'm thinking about starting Newsies with all my classes. That would give me about four weeks worth of lessons right there. Two weeks until spring break!

I'm still living at the folks' house for the time being. The house on Lincoln isn't ready. All my stuff is there in storage. At this rate, if I do get into Leavenworth, it almost doesn't seem worth it to get all moved in and have to pack again in mid-june. Oh well, one step at a time. And there's still the big decision of how long to stay in Yakima now that my reason for being here is null and void. I could go anywhere, but it's been lovely to be home for a little while. Nearer to family. Able to be at all holidays. And I'm not sick of Yakima yet. Pepsi and fry sauce. What's not to like.

This is kind of a rambly post. I feel like I should abound with some pithy observations about something, but I'm in kind of a post-stress lull. I did have a few drunk snowmobilers singing Roxanne with my name substituted in. It feels good to be cocktailing again. This type of bar is such a relaxing place to work - even when it's hectic. Last thursday was live music night, and everyone ate buffet and then sat around enjoying themselves. People who condemn bars for the sake of the debauchery clearly haven't been to enough of them to see the different types. Sure, Jackson's on a kareoke night, fairly rowdy. I've heard of a fight, and watched someone set off the alarms as they dragged him out through an emergency exit only door because he was too intoxicated to walk. But this place is lovely. Mostly tourists and locals, coming in for a beer or two to sit and pass a winters evening with friends. I'd imagine the pub that the Inklings met in had a similar atmosphere, although probably better lighting. I can't imagine reading anything in there. The mood lighting is really dark, but they have a lovely big fireplace with an antlered head above it.

And I'm off to bed.

This looks interesting

This looks interesting...

Saturday, March 18, 2006


Sorry...for the extended absences.

I've been trying to get moved out, and am under some pressure to do so, but I've thrown my neck out again and it's been taking forever. All I have left to do now (after loading up the truck again today with Dad and dropping it by the house on Lincoln) is to go take out the trash, vacuum, and grab the last few things. But it's taken a several hour lie down to get my neck down from excruciating to dull throbbing after hauling furniture down a flight of stairs and in and out of a truck. Kris helped me unload the first load yesterda -- yay Kris.

On the plus side, I really like my new job. A lot. I worked Wednesday and Thursday, and made some nice money. And since Wednesday was the end of a pay period, I've already gotten a paycheck. They have 24 hour turnaround. And thank God for that, because I have 10 upcoming chiropractic visits.

I'm housesitting for the Logsdons this weekend, so I'll be in Seattle Sunday night through Tuesday morning. And that's about it for me.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Two things

Two Things:

And then I have to get back to the drudgery.

1. I'm doing the last leg of the packing and moving. I've just cleaned the bathroom except for mopping the floor. Next I'm taking the trash out, loading my car with the last of my clothes, and boxing up the last smatterings of stuff. Lastly, I'm moving all my furniture into the living room so the bedroom and bathroom at least will be totally cleared out. Maybe Dad and I can get furniture moved tonight. And then I'll be done.

2. I got a job. Whistlin' Jack's hired me this afternoon.

Monday, March 13, 2006

I'm Home

I'm Home

Wherever that is. Meaning I've moved somewhat into my folks house, but everything else is in boxes in storage -- except the stuff I still need to PUT into boxes, and get moved by Wednesday. I'm tired just thinking about it.

I moved the cats today. Chloe got so upset in the car she peed all over Cai. So they had to get baths. And Cai objected to his. So he clawed the heck out of my arm. At one point I had a 15 pound cat hanging by his teeth from my left wrist. I said things in front of my mother and sister that I don't think they knew I could say. Two words. Sounds like "ducking smell." If ever there was a time to use those words in conjunction, I think that was it. My arm is swathed in bandages. Chloe was way easier. I'm not speaking to Cai.

On the plane from O.C. to Seattle, I was stuck two rows ahead of a several family conglomeration of small children, all wearing commemerative mouse ears, watching Dora the Explorer. Some parent had the brilliant idea to seat them all together, and the combination of DVD and kid noises was a mind numbing cacophany. Especially when you add the two infants who screamed from takeoff to landing. The flight itself was fine. And I got to eat at Ivars in the airport while re-reading Memoirs of a Geisha.

Tomorrow I teach and move and that's about it.

Sunday, March 12, 2006


Today I:

Woke up late after going to bed early.

Cooked French Toast.

Bought lipgloss and mascara at Sephora

Called people I haven't talked to in years to get phone numbers and directions.

Talked to Steven on his lunch break.

Ate chicken nuggets and a vanilla shake.

Drove to Miracle Mile.

Listened to my new Alanis Morissette CD.

Spent an hour with Stacey and Maria.

Ate Thai Food on La Cienega.

Drove back to Newport Beach.

Figured out Dawn's new camera and memory card transfer thingy.

Bought blush and eyeshadow for $1 at

Booked my flights home tomorrow.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Getty

The Getty

Steven picked me up yesterday before noon and we drove into Beverly Hills to go to the Getty Museum. The traffic in was pretty bad, but never at a complete standstill.

We parked and rode the tram up to the top of the hill. It was fast enough, but then took 2 minutes to travel the last 6 inches of the trip. Very weird. The Getty is huge. First we had lunch in a little cafe. Great food. I had half of a turkey club with avacado and a bowl of clam chowder. And coffee. We both needed to wake up after being out late the night before.

The first building was the antiquities. There was a gorgeous Venus statue in marble. There was a gold laurel wreath from something like 300BC. It looked like it ought to be fake. And one statue of a saint made by a she for a change. The next room over had books from the 1200-1400. Hand written, gold leaf embossed, hand decorated with leaves, vines, calligraphy and illustrations. The second building had more paintings and statues - all breathtaking. I think my favorite from that one was a statue in black of Venus and Adonis. Another building had French furniture from around Louis XIV. It was so huge I didn't even look at individual pieces, just walked into the room and stared. And I found the bed that if I lived in the Getty a la The Mixed up Files of Basil E. Frankweiler, I would have slept in. The fourth building had a photography museum and upstairs were oil paintings. There was one by Millais, and two paintings by an artist I don't know, but I bought the postcards so that I can remember them and buy the print online. And one huge painting entitled Spring that had a thronging crowd pouring out of a castle in greek dress festooned in flowers. The paint was so thick it looked like it was standing out from the canvas. And Steven walked into a room of impressionists and the original of his favorite Van Gogh was there.

We went back for coats to go into the gardens. On the way we saw that the 405 was completely stopped, so we opted to stay at the museum and see the last building and a half we'd missed. By then my brain was on overload and I had nothing left but pithy comments (Wow. Unfortunate haircut on that guy). There was a German Newspaper satirist who had to flee the country for his criticism of Hitler. I'm sure it was cool but all I could do was stare. And the upstairs of the first building had massive amounts of Italian Iconography. Teri you would have loved it. There was a Titian there of the Penitant Magdalene which was beautiful. My brain couldn't do it justice.

The funniest painting we saw all day was a picture of the Holy Family. Mary was looking placid with her left breast exposed. The infant Jesus was standing beside her, with his arm casually thrown over her breast. It was so bizarre.

After the museum we went to dinner at Cucina Italiana on Sunset Boulevard. The food was wonderful, and we got to sit on the patio which was closed in and had heaters. My ravioli was wonderful, and we had a glass of chianti.

We killed time for an hour driving around, deciding to go somewhere else, backtracking, getting lost on the 101, heading back, and then finally his friends Sarah and Tricia called and told us to meet them in West Covina at Starbucks. We went and I got to meet his friends. And then had them take the obligatory pictures for Mom. Which I have to forward to him as well for his mother.

At midnight he drove me back home. It was a 14 hour day, and I am so exhausted, but it was worth every second. What a perfect day...

Friday, March 10, 2006

I'm in LA

I'm in LA

Last night I went out for a late drink with Steven and one of his friends. (I think her name was Tricia, but I'm bad with names) Today we're going into LA for lunch and then to the Getty.

(And nope, Sarah was who I was hanging out with. Tricia is a friend of theirs who's getting married in May. I met her when we went out for coffee)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Sunday, March 05, 2006


I'm packing.

And moving.

And looking for a job.

In case anyone was wondering.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Effective Immediately

Effective Immediately...I have resigned my job. This morning I got a clean bill of health from my doctor who thinks all of my bizarre hormonal issues, when you take the bigger picture of my dating history, are just my body's way of jump starting itself after shock, several years of depression, and then a couple more years of nothing much able to happen. So I went into my bosses this morning stating that I am good for my position, but perhaps a liability to the organization, and would like to leave before it becomes a problem, effective immediately. So I'm going to be moving into the bottom story of our old house, and looking for another job soon. I already have three days employment in the middle of this month helping do inventory at the local fabric store, and I'm in no way destitute right now. So I'm going to take a breather for a few days after all this stress, and then start looking for a job.

And that's the scoop.