Monday, October 25, 2004

Wanting to write something deep

I wonder why Christians pray for spiritual maturity, but then gripe when the hard times come. Isn't this why we have them? Do we somehow expect maturity and perseverance to come while we're sitting around on the top of the mountain eating bonbons? And not the real "hard times." Like death, or poverty, loss of job or spouse or parent. But hard work, difficult circumstances. Things that don't go "exactly as planned."

I'm the worst about "my time." I hate to have it wasted. I hate waiting for people. Living with twelve people in a constant state of "wait, let me go get my bag, change my clothes, grab my key, wait, are you sure that's where we want to go" has probably been good for me, as frustrating as I find it some days. Today I thought if I had to wait one more second to begin the movie, I was going to throw the remote at something. I have read Screwtape Letters often enough to remember that time is not something we possess, but a gift we are given and have no control over. Even the number of our days isn't known to us. But somehow I still get miffed about my wasted hours and minutes. But God's been working on me with that. Learning to go with the flow and have a bit of patience, which is one more bit that I began tour with.

So, what does that have to do with the first bit? Well, in the midst of a miff over waiting, I had to be reminded, this is why I'm here. Not to perform, or to be in the spotlight (and it's hard to be conceited when you're up to your elbows in dishwater), but to learn and grow and learn to love people and God better. And don't I know that one's going to come back and bite me in the butt. Right now I'm quaking over the thought of having to sit down with someone and confront them about some things they've been doing lately, instead of taking the far easier route of ignoring and avoiding them. Which I've been doing for the past few days, and my team leader had to call me on it. And I really would rather just blow them off for another month. It would be less hassle. But then God brings this one back to mind:

"No Christian ever has a right to sever any relationship with anybody out of anger or pique, or even injustice, no matter how much he disapproves of someone's actions. It's our place to demonstrate reconciliation - not judgment or revenge or retaliation. That's God's business, not ours...When the lines of communication are cut so that two people can't even talk, what have you gained then? All you've done is sever what may have been God's only way into a man's heart." ~Catherine Marshall.

And, speaking of which, there's another unresolved reconciliation I've been putting off for a while that I really need to attend to.

Doing Nothing

Today I did...nothing!

Woke up at 8 to my phone ringing. It was Mary calling to see if I wanted to go trudge around Europe for a couple of weeks next summer. Do I ever!

Then I went back to bed, slept until 11, puttered around for a few hours, Julie and I went to rent movies. Watched "Life or Something Like It" and "Ella Enchanted." The first was extremely excellent, the second I liked a good deal, but not on the same level.

We went to dinner at TGIFridays and then to the hot tub. Where we met a nice guy who was meeting a girl he'd be corresponding with for some time, for the first time that evening. Tomorrow, we're off to Disneyland.

Four days off

We have four days off!!!!

We finished our five day run of the show...Calvary Chapel Murietta is a great audience. They laughed at all the right places, and didn't laugh at the wrong ones (like the helicopter crashing -- I have yet to figure out why that strikes people as funny). Our hosts are so generous. We've barely had to eat adobo at all this week because they keep bringing us food. And they brought on extra volunteers to wash dishes while the show is going, so most of the work is done by the time the show is over. Making for much easier cleanup. And they put us up at a hotel. Did I mention that? I do kind of miss getting to meet new people, but this is a nice break. It does make tour feel a little like your average high school band trip, but at least we don't have to pack up every day.

Tonight, after walking through a drive-through in auto formation, we're having a chick flick night. We tried to rent Pride and Prejudice for a marathon, but we missed the lady at Hollywood Video by about 10 seconds. She locked the door when we pulled up. On second thought, maybe it wasn't midnight, she just thought we looked suspect. TBS is playing Sleepless in Seattle following You've Got Mail. Tasha is sewing, Julie is watching intently -- watching me that is. Because she's waiting for the computer, and Nicole is passed out and snoring beside me.

Tomorrow we're going to find a bookstore and read for hours. Tuesday we may make it to Disneyland, if we end up going. And then we still have two days until the next show. Except for a food order having to come in. That's such a pain in the butt. Having to unload the whole trailer and break down boxes and shove food in, duct taping the fridge door closed. Put it all back. Repeat, once a week. Ah well. Part of the business...

So I'm starting to doze. I'll see you guys in the next few. We have free wireless internet in the hotel!