Tuesday, March 04, 2003

Thanks to Stacey Fredrick for the following contribution! Too funny for words!
What is a Praise Chorus?


An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city
church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.

"Well," said the farmer, "It was good. They did something different,
>however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns."

"Praise choruses," said his wife, "What are those?"

"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like hymns, only different," said the farmer.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife.

The farmer said, "Well it's like this: If I were to say to you: 'Martha, the cows are in the corn,' well, that would be a hymn. If, on the other
hand, I were to say to you: 'Martha, Martha, Martha, Oh, Martha,
MARTHA, MARTHA, the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows, the
white
cows, the black and white cows, the COWS, COWS, COWS are in the corn,
are
in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, the CORN, CORN, CORN.'

Then, if I were to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well that
would be a praise chorus."

What is a Hymn?MA young, new Christian went to his local church usually, but one weekend attended a church in the city. He came home and his wife asked him how
it was.

"Well," said the young man, "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang hymns instead of regular songs."

"Hymns," said his wife, "What are those?"

"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like regular songs, only different," said the young man.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife.

The young man said, "Well it's like this: If I were to say to you, 'Martha, the cows are in the corn,' well that would be a regular song.

If, on the other hand, I were to say to you: 'Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear
thou my cry. Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth. Turn thou thy
whole wondrous ear by and by to the righteous, inimitable, glorious truth.
For the way of the animals who can explain; There in their heads is no
shadow of sense. Hearkenest they in God's sun or his rain unless from the
mild, tempting corn they are fenced. Yea those cows in glad bovine,
rebellious delight,Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed. Then goaded
by minions of darkness and night, they all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn
have chewed. So look to that bright shining day by and by, where all foul corruptions
of earth are reborn, where no vicious animal makes my soul cry And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn.'

"Then, if I were to do only verses 1, 3, and 4, and do a key change on
the last verse, well, that would be a hymn."