Rachel: "How long until I get to walk down an aisle and smile at you?"
Alan: "Do you mean get married? Or just walk down an aisle. 'Cause we can go to Safeway."
Girl in audience: "I like the White Princess!" (Referring to the African-American actress in the white dress. Possibly my favorite Storybook moment)
Kid in audience: "How come you reference Lady Gaga when your show is CLEARLY medievil?" (MENSA candidate, that one.)
Alan: "Are you Grumpy? Sleepy? Happy? Doc? Any of the other dwarfs?"
Rachel: "No, I'm Sore."
Alan: "I don't think he's one of the dwarfs. Sore-y"
Rachel: "The Canadian dwarf."
Dame Trott: (At a Panto of Jack and the Beanstock) "Because if a joke's worth doing once, it's worth flogging to death!"
Grace: "Dear Storybook Theater, you fill my heart with joy."
Alan: (While watching Friends reruns) "...what's the scenario...I mean, was I snoring?"
Alissa: "Today I saw Jesus. He was dirty, he was where you would least expect to see Him. He didn’t have blue eyes, and He didn’t speak english. And I saw Him."
Rachel: "I'm short!"
Alan: "No, I'm short. I'm 5'8. You belong in a tree baking cookies."
Thomas: "So Austin, what are you not going to do between shows?"
Austin: "Eat Sugar? Break my arm?"
Kid at Restaurant: "Guess what I did yesterday?"
Rachel: "What did you do?"
Kid: "I went to the SPACE NOODLE!"
(His Mom starts cracking up)
Rachel: "And how was the Space Noodle?"
Kid: "It was AWESOME!!!!"
Constance: "The wrap party for FACE was really fun. I played you in the scenes!"
Rachel: "What did you have to do? Wander around making inappropriately timed non sequetors with a tape measure around your neck?"
Constance: "I had to look great first of all. I had to be a little cranky on the day I didn't have my coffee first. I had to primp everyone, it was so fun."
Scooter: "Oh no, don’t avoid Costco. Costco is good. Costco is addictive. Costco is where you sell your immortal soul to Mephistopholes for a 24-pack of Twinkies, four tires, a new laptop, 50 rolls of kitchen towels, a case of top-class wine, 10 lbs of Rib Eyes and the aforementioned car. None of which you needed. All before noon. And then you top it up with a $1.50 hot dog/diet coke combo. Costco is heaven. Try it out now." (From LittleRedBoat)
Abby: "What is with all this sun? I want it to be rainy again for another month!"
Me: "You see, this proves you aren't a true Seattle-ite."
Amelia: "But WHY didn't they make Anne faint into Gilbert Blythe's arms? It would have been sooooo much more romantic!" (Another promising feminist bites the dust.)
Teri: (referencing her recent cold)...And as soon as they heard me do announcements, the whole congregation went, "Oh my god, she's going to serve communion."
(At the homeless shelter)
Woman: I don't get Seattle's coffee thing. Why do people stand in line to buy a four dollar cup of coffee. Where I'm from we just drink Jo.
Me: Is this your first Seattle Winter?
Me: Wait until February.