Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Do you ever have one of those days when NOTHING goes right?

This morning I woke up on time, and wound up running late -- go figure. I plugged in the iron, and decided that my new lamp would look much better behind my dining room I tried to slide it behind without actually moving anything. And my table broke -- and fell -- with my sewing machine on it. The machine is fine.

Class was not bad except that I have a project due friday, and no time to do it except between shows tomorrow. But we don't have class. But we do have to slide it under his door before class time tomorrow morning. So I still have to wake up earl.

Choir -- always atrocious. I hate that class with a raving passion. I'm not a mezzo, and I'm singing alto. It was long, and boring, and we're singing bad music.

My coaching with Aslanian went well, and I had time to go to lunch beforehand and sit in the hall with my part-time "boyfriend." His fiance lets me babysit him while she's not around to keep her eye on him.On a bad note, I was relaying a funny "tenor" story to Chris, and VC heard me, and jumped all over my case for telling a story that wasn't true. It was -- I got it straight from Carol. But he gave me the "you know you're making that up" tone of voice, and then proceeded to tell my friends I was sitting with that things like that don't happen in the real world.

Italian was long. I was tired by then. I just wanted out.

AH and then for the fun part! My voice lesson. I walked in and VC asks who's next. The lesson was Adrian's, but since he coudln't come and my recital is pending, he said I could have it. VC started the first rampage. How can he just give lessons away like that? No one does that (actually its very common practice in the studio. We switch lessons about as often as we change socks.) Then for the next 15 minutes, everything I did was wrong. My singing was wrong (you used to be able to do this. Two years ago you had this down! Why can't you do it now?), my reactions were wrong, (What was wrong with that? Stretch? NO! BREATH. Now what was wrong with that? Um, breath? NO! STRETCH! What was wrong with THAT? Um........stretch? NO! BREATH! Now what was wrong this THAT? Um............I don't know? See! That's your problem. You don't pay attention when you sing! You should be paying attention. You need to think more! What's wrong with you today? Is this a bad day? You seem distracted. I can always tell when Rachel's going to have a bad lesson because she gets spacey.) Last week, by the way, the problem was that I was thinking too hard. You see my confusion. Anyway, thank God MY part of the lesson went well once my accompanist came in. But my mood was ruined. And I beat a hasty retreat. To go work with Glenn for another hour. He remembered hearing the "tenor story" before -- so See? It did happen! That's total today one hour of lessons, and two hours of coaching. I should practice some tonight, but I'm going to take a bath and go to bed. It is after all the night before three performances.

ANyway....being :Lent I suppose I should say something about giving things up. Which I am. But my day was so bad that I forgot to think of anything before I got to the service. So: upon post-service reflection I am going to give up: 1) being emotional in my lessons instead of clinical. 2) Looking to other people for my approval and self image instead of to God, who frankly, knows me better. I'm also working on 3) Some relationship issues that came up recently, and then I haven't decided what to take on. I already read my bible and pray daily (Yay new years resolutions) and I don't want to give up chocolate or sweets -- I haven't given up anything material in a long time. I've tried to give up character flaws for the past couple of years. Maybe I'll keep working on giving thanks for everything. Starting with my lesson this afternoon. That should take all night. I'm off to a bath