Last night I was supposed to have the night off. I had just gotten home from work, changed into my yoga outfit, and crawled underneath the covers for a well deserved nap when work called. They needed me to come in that evening. So, I groaned and rolled over...slept for a few hours and then dragged myself in. It's taking longer and longer every day to wake up. Even with EmergenC's and Pepsi.
We're all so tired. All the servers are fed up with people, and food, and attitudes, and grumpiness. On the plus side, that makes for some great moments when the servers politely tell the customers where to get off...
Some of my favorites...
At table 1..."Can I bring you a winelist?"
(To the others dining) "I don't need a winelist. There's only one chardonnay on there."
"Would you like Hawkcrest or Rusack?"
"Oh. Well. Hawkcrest."
With a gentleman at the bar...with an empty glass in front of him.
"Bring me a martini this time. And make sure that bartended doesn't make it. Doesn't know what a Long Island Iced tea is supposed to be. This last one was terrible."
(Picking up his empty glass) "Which bartender do you want to make your drink?"
"That one there. The one on the left."
Walking to the bartender on the left..."I need a martini, and I need 'the-one-on-the-left' to make it." The one on the right was the only one free, so he made it while I blocked him from view, and 'the-one-on-the-left' handed it to me when he was done.
(Taking it back to the customer) "Yes..That's what a drink is supposed to taste like. Make sure he makes all my drinks." Pretention is funnier when you know they're oblivious...
And speaking of Things-to-the-left...Some ladies ordered a very expensive bottle of wine. I grabbed the one next to it when I shimmied up the wine cabinet. Brought it back to their table for inspection and tasting.
"Here you are Gladys. You'll love this stuff. It's so much better than the stuff we drink at home!.....Yes, it's just perfect. You can really tell the difference!"
Half an hour later they realised that I had brought them, literally, a bottle of the 'stuff they drink at home.' Luckily they weren't mad, but I have to get every bottle of wine checked out by a manager before I deliver it....on principle.....And my boss scraped a label off a bottle of Stags Leap and pasted it to a white zinfandel as a joke, labeling it "Kunze Reserve." It will have a place of honor in my future wine storage....Trophy of the endless ribbing I'm getting......
More wine pretention.... "Miss, could you bring me another glass of syrah and try to prevent this from happening (referring to sediment in the bottom)....she poured a glass from the same bottle...and walked away muttering "What do you want me to to? Decant your glass?"
And then there were the bartenders... Who didn't want us helping in the bar during the reception, though it was hosted, and didn't need us in the room, but still expected us to pick up the bar glasses afterwards....they are perfectly capable of picking up a tray, I think. Lazy bums!
And then, the crowning moment of the night...from one of the servers....
"Rachel, table five needs a bottle of Qupe Syrah."
"Which one?"
"Table Five."
"I mean, which bottle of Qupe."
"The one on the winelist."
"There are two reserves of Qupe Syrah on the winelist, which type did they want. We have one, and we're out of the other."
(Throwing the ticket in my face) "I don't have time for this. You go figure it out."
I was FUMING! If the servers don't know enough to take the orders, they have no business doing it. Especially when there are three cocktail waitresses on that evening, who DO know what they're doing.
