Saturday, May 27, 2006

Artificial Engagement

Artificial Engagement

I had to ask Kris to ask me to marry him today. Because I've been forced to move my solitaire from my right hand to my left in an effort to stave off advances.

Why do men think the way to get women is to tell them that they're hot?

Yesterday it was a dripping wet biker. He and his two buddies came in to dry off by our fire. As I took their order, he told me to come closer and he'll tell me what he wants. He wanted to know what I did when I wasn't working, and then what I did when I was sleeping. He wouldn't take the drinks I tried to hand him (they weren't sitting at a table) instead making nursing faces indicated that I should stand there and feed him. I got off work and took a shower.

Today it was a rather intoxicated Texan camper. He spent an hour talking about me, loudly, to the bartender and his fellow campers. Mmmmmhmmmmm. She sure is one FINE looking woman. Yep. I'm wearing the wrong suit today but I can get my sexy on. It's a good thing I'm single. Yep, I'm single, you're single (the ring switched hands at that point with my back turned). I'd like to call on ye-ew. What time d'you get off? Yessir, she is one FINE looking lady. You're one lucky bartender, get to look at that all day. MMHHHmmm. You off work yet so I can take you camping?.......

After eight hours of that, it's no wonder that no man can get my attention with a come-on. Here's a tip. Talk to me like a human and I'm way more likely to go out with you.