Does anyone know someone in Waco who needs an apartment starting June first? I'm going to have to pay two months rent for breaking my lease unless I can find someone to take mine over....blech....

I went to the Alisal bar last night to catch up with Bill, the pianist on tuesday (and wednesday?) nights. He's playing for me on my two gigs this weekend, one for the republican Women's fund raiser thingy, and one for the PCPA. I'm really really really excited about singing for people. Maybe they'll decide to help further my career along as a tax write off -- whatever. Rich people are the cheapest people alive. Anyway, I started rehearsing, and some people came in. I remembered them from last year. They found out I sing and requested that I thrill their daughter with 10 bars from Oklahoma! I did. This year I sang for them. They're so nice. They actually tipped me. Isn't that a change for the better? now if only the rest of the people I sang for would do the same....wouldn't that be great? Nah, they consider me an oddity -- amply paid for my singing by my wages as a cocktail waitress....go figure....

Since I haven't begun working, and don't want to pay the 5 bucks a meal to eat in the dining room, I've been having peasant fare. Large hunks of bread, a slice of cheese, an apple, and a bottle of water. It feels so wholesome, so back to my germanic working class roots. That and all the physical activity I've been doing -- oh its so wonderful to get out in the sunshine surrounded by nature that's actually pretty, and not just struggling not to be desert, I wake up every morning with sore muscles and skin one shade of brown darker (brown is pushing it -- one shade of almond darker would be mush closer). And tearing off hunks of bread is so satisfying! No slices for me -- just grab the loaf and rip. Ok -- enough on that subject. i'm going to go read Jane Eyre again and get myself back into a Victorian frame of mind...

I've been here for a week. I'm so impressed with all the excersizing I'm doing. I've been walking for an hour in the mornings, and then biking the 2 miles into Solvang to check my phone messages once a day. How very exciting! I'm getting very brown. The freckles I hadn't seen in about 6 years are all making a point to say hi. I'm going to get a cat. Is that great or what? I'd like a kitten, but i live in the wild, and I don't want a poor defenseless kitten out roaming around and getting eaten by a snake or a wild dog. So, in that light, I think I'll get a grown cat. I have two favorites at the animal shelter. I'm going to go play with them again today to see if I can make up my mind.

I just changed my address forms. Isn't the internet a wonderful thing. Now if I could just turn of my electricity from the computer. Add that to my list of things to do for tomorrow....

I'm in California. I've moved half of my stuff into my new place. Now if Andrea will only find places for hers I could move the rest in. It's a lovely room. I think I'm going to get a cat. We walked here and there all day running errands, and i'm tired and sunburned. All in all not a bad day. The weather is beautiful! Tomorrow I intend to do........nothing! After I talk to my boss and the housing people....

I'm leaving tomorrow. I am. I'm going to get all packed up and out of here. If it kills me. I will do it. I want to start working, and make my place pretty, and stuff. I'm leaving. Tomorrow.

Do I have to do this? I mean really? All this packing is making me antsy....

I'm not entirely sure how much longer I'll have internet, so I'm going to blog now. My apartment is half packed -- Matt and I are loading my van full of stuff to take to his place...amazing how much fits in there! We just got my love seat and a wingback chair in at the same time. It's been a long job. Matt's back is all screwed up, so most heavy lifting that can't be carefully balanced is up to me -- sheer adrenaline people....anyway. I'm tired. I've taken a break and eaten, but now I'm back to doing something productive. Surely -- there must be something one can do when half asleep!

The Decision

Alright, some of you have been asking what the decision was. Here it goes. I found out a week ago that I was not given an assistanceship to go to grad school. To make a long story short, that means that I would have to pay for graduate school out of pocket, instead of being free. Anyway. After a week of thinking, and praying, and weighing my options, I have decided not to go to grad school this coming year. I'm going to go work in California at least until Christmas. I can try to get an assistanceship through another department for the spring, or at the least I can return in the fall when I'll probably have an assistanceship through the music school -- lots of them will be up by then. So, I'm moving to California....and I hate moving! It will be good for me...but its been a stressful week...

I hate packing! It's such a mess!

It's amazing -- you go through stress, the stress ends, and then your face breaks out -- proclaiming to the world what a hard week you've had!

Decision made.

Making big decisions right now...........will blog soon.......

Listening to my Recital CD

The first song, good. A couple of breath things -- but I like it so far.

Italian Set -- Rachel, your vibrato is made by breath, not manipulation of the vocal tract. Breath....but really, better than I expected. Some of the high notes I thought surely must have been atrocious were actually pretty impressive. Diction needs help -- but nothing to do about that until I get into a better program...

German song set -- wow! So THAT's what they mean by 'squeelo.' Oooh...didn't like that note quite so much. Overall, not bad so far!

Interesting service this morning. I've never been to a disciples of Christ church before. I found it to be rather baptist, but have no way of knowing if it is merely this particular church that is that way, or the denomination as a whole. They had the most beautiful stained glass window above the baptistry. The service order was rather different compared to other churches I've been to, but that really doesn't make any difference. And the communion was with little shards of bread and grape juice....old home week really. The sermon was good, but it's a holiday, so it should be. I got handed a little mother's day present on the way out the door. They gave them to every woman I think, but it was rather odd to be unmarried, and childless, and still be handed a present. Oh well -- everyone looks old when you're ten.

Just when you think the day sucks completely, and nothing is going right, you discover that the candle you hadn't opened, that you'd had for years, was coconut scented. And suddenly a bath makes all the difference....

Note to all interested: I have eliminated the phrase "the plan" from my vocabulary. More on this subject later.

Junk Mail Filter

Life is suddenly more boring now that I"ve set my junk mail filter to high. At least before I had about 30 messages a day to delete. Without those, I've had to come to the realization that I recieve almost no personal email. Unless its my parents writing to tell me that Baylor has demanded even more money from me in order to graduate. I am aware that if I WANT personal emails, I'm going to have to actually write some. That's actually why I like blogging. It keeps people updated on a daily basis. And if things are working right, they comment back and let you know in turn what they are up to, or what they like about what you've written, or something completely unrelated. And if the mood is just right, maybe several people will start a comment "conversation" (see Little Red Boat for an example of this) and you feel like everyone that you love is out there somewhere -- and somehow you're all connected.

Of course, in another week it won't matter because I'll be trapped without a computer for three months this summer. THREE MONTHS. Well, I can check my email at my grandparents' house -- but how often do I really want to wander their direction for the sole purpose of blogging the same message over again (worked last night, horrible rich people, singing in the bar on tuesday). I'll try to update when I can, but no promises on frequency of blogs. So, yes, that's all I have to say on this subject. I'm going to bed...

I'm done! I had my last final! I've finished with undergrad. Je suis finis! Io sono finita! YAY!!!!! Da Da dada DA dada DA! I'm so excited. Can't wait to get my stupid diploma! I told them to mail it to me! SO there baylor. Shove it up your.........! On a positive note, I'm so glad for the chance to get an education! Not many women in the world boast of that privledge.....yay! On to my masters!

Quote of the Day

The cardinal difficulty, said MacPhee, "in collaboaration between the sexes is that women speak a language without nouns. If two men are doing a bit of work, on will say to the other, 'Put this bowl inside the bigger bowl which you'll find on the top shelf of the green cupboard.' The female for this is, 'Put that in the other one in there.' And then if you ask them, 'in where?' the say, 'in there, of course.' There is consequently a phiatic hiatus."

C.S.Lewis, That Hidious Strength

Check out this new blogAllaboutJen. She's unemployed, she's bitter, and she's taking a retail job because her dog just ate her $400 glasses. Be sure to check out the lower left corner for celebrity news. She's especially hating Jennifer Lopez these days -- and can we really blame her?

Murphy's Law

And just when you think life coudln't get any crazier, the bank makes an error and your accounts go to hades. What a day!

I'm very close to being packed for the summer. Not that its hard. The majority of my luggage is going to consist of my recital dresses of which I have to bring several. I have a uniform once I get there, so everything else is incidental. Feels good to have my suitcase packed by the door. I feel like I"m leaving for summer camp.

YAY TO ME! I turned in my final orchestration project TWO DAYS EARLY! YAY! I'm so excited! One less thing to have looming over my head. Is everyone else busy this week? I keep blogging to a void it seems....

And my room is clean for the first time since my recital. It feels so nice! Now all I have to do is keep it that way until I leave in a week. OH....right. I need to go turn in my hours so I can get my check so I can buy my railway ticket. Maybe I should actually take a shower or something....

Rehydrated Detergent

How's this for amusing. I've had a box of detergent for ages, and it had hit the point where you had to chip away at it to wash clothes. Well, it sat outside on my porch for a few weeks, and its been so humid the last week or so it's back to it's original condition. How cool is that!

My posterior has fallen utterly asleep. I've been working on my Orchestration final project for an hour. I've done something like 6 measures. Four more lines to go. I'm now taking a break to clean my room. That's how my day is going to go. Half an hour of study, half an hour of cleaning or something else. Maybe then I'll get everything done that I need to do....and not be bored out of my mind doing it! School's almost over! It feels so good to say it! I've almost graduated. I'm almost done. Even if I'm not walking at graduation. With any luck I'll be working that night! Anyway....off to cleaning! I think it's trying to storm outside again. It's either thunder, or someone is doing some major construction somewhere. Hard to tell....

Thinking Positively

I have a goal from my therapist. Think positively. I don't even know where to begin -- not that I see everything as horrible, or dark, or whatever...but it is a lot easier for me to criticize than praise, and far easier to point out what's wrong with things than what is good with them. Good example of this is the opera I just went to. I had a great time. I enjoyed the show. I cried through the third act. But when I had to write a one page review, it sounded like I loathed it. See, like that. So I'm going to work on balance. Whatever that means!

I just got back from seeing X-Men 2. That was a good movie! I mean it. I'm not an action/adventure fan. I've never read comic books or watched cartoons, so I have no expectations of what the film should look like, but it was a great movie (other than the opening "travelling through space" crawl with a Patrick Stewart narration beginning "Mutants....the last evolution... (which I expected to segue into) These are the voyages of the.......etc. etc." The sound track was amazing. The opening fight scene with the Dies Irae from Mozart's Requiem was perfectly matched. There was some good character development for a few characters, others were fairly one-sided. Matt tells me that the Wolverine "I'm so confused, and I don't know who I am" thing that took up the majority of the film was actually very condensed, Wolverine did that bit for most of his comic book. Ian McKellan shines of course, even though he's not onscreen for a very long time. Gene (Jean?) Grey had some nice moments after spending the last movie wavering...the rest of the female characters were relegated to background for the most part. But it was enjoyable! It has a cast to die for. Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan, Hugh Jackman....and a great performance by a nearly unrecognizable Alan Cummings. Very good!

Today is my sister's 20th birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREA! She is currently on choir tour and will not be reading this until she gets back...if she even reads it at all. I was going to send her a card, but then it's hard to reach a bus unless you have a disney stork handy. Or a Harry Potter owl. Having neither, I think I'll just call her phone and leave a message! Ciao

I'm home! Shut out of my house because Matt has my keys. About to have pizza....yummy!

I'm off for a weekend of unadulterated fun! Houston to see La Traviata starring Renee Flemming and my very good friend Marjorie Owens. Yes, then we'll hang out saturday, go to Mass on sunday, and then to Adrian's sister's house for Liliana and Alejandro's birthday party. Should be fun!

The baking turned out well, despite flickering lights, things falling apart, and more toothpicks holding it together than I can count. It should be fabulous!

The street lights are out. The power is flickering. I've run out of candle holders.

We're having a lightening storm here. I really don't much like lightening storms unless I'm far enough away for them to be impressive. The power keeps flickering. I've lit a candle so that at least I won't be left in the dark if the power goes out. I wish I had more candles. Maybe I have some in my cardboard chest. I can't remember.

Yes, the Visitation by Frank Peretti was just as good this time as the last time. I need to find a new author to read. I've read everything in my collection half a dozen times.....

I've been baking. My kitchen was formerly the only clean room in my house, and it is that no longer. I have batter everywhere. I hope this turns out, otherwise I'm going to be very sad.