I must amend. The most hated thing I've ever been called by a patron is "hey, Nurse!"

Another Stimulating Conversation:

"Reservations, This is Rachel. How may I help you?"

"Hi is this the Inn in Los Olivos? because I called the AAA hotline and asked for the inn in Los Olivos and I said Fess Parkers, but they told me you didn't have an Inn in Los Olivos, and they transfered me to the one in Santa Barbara, and I talked to the girl there, but she said that they had three hundred rooms, and I knew that couldn't be right because I saw the special on tv, and that was small, so that couldn't be it, so she transfered me here and said that there was a Fess Parker Wine Country Inn in Los Olivos, and I guess that's why they coldn't find it, because I didn't say Country Gardens on the phone, and they said I wouldn't go straight through, but go to an interface first, and I did, and then I got you, so is this the Fess Parker's in Los Olivos?"

"Yes we are in Los Olivos."

"Oh good. So what's the Inn like, do you have a pool? What are the rates because I read in the AAA book the rates are $250-260 and I just wanted to know........

And on the conversation went. I had to put her on hold twice. And at the end of it all?

"Ok great, well that's all I needed to know."

"Would you like to book the room?"

"Oh no, I'm not ready to do that yet because I need to check with my husband because we're business owners you see, and we need to bring someone in to cover the shop for a while, and I'll need to check on that, but I just wanted to make sure the room would be available. And you do have a double queen, and you say it's the first to book up, is that because there is only one of them? and well I need to check on that, and as long as you think you'll have it available that will be all."

I'm out of breath just listening.

An editorial from the LA Times, March 20 2004:

"A life is not important anymore. Compassion has no place in the United States. We are no longer a country to be proud of. THAT is the mesage you convey when you tout fur."
~Katrina Berg Sussmeier~

I wonder what her take is on abortion...

I'm doing some minor *tweaking* here. Sorry for the dust!

Another excercise in idiocy...or perhaps insanity...

Last night was our first outdoor barbeque. A lady in purple sweatpants and a red, somewhat beaten up cowboy hat approaches. The hat, it seems, must sit in the top of the closet but for the three times a year it comes to the ranch.

"Are you the main bartenders?" she asks.

We stare at her.

"Are you the main ones from inside? 'Cause last night I had a drink from the one by the pool and it was too much cranberry, too much lime. And too little vodka."

He assures the lady that he is indeed competent enough to make a cosmopolitan. And he does. And it's...

"Perfect. Just Right...ooh, but a little too full. Look at me, I'm spilling everywhere."

She turns back to her husband one fist clutching the drink, one had on the bar. And stays. A line forms behind her. They start giving orders over her head. One sip later she turns around.

"Can I have one ice cube please?"

One quarter turn and back talking to her husband. Still clutching the bar. Another minute later,

"Can I have one more ice cube?"

This repeats, sip by sip, for the first two thirds of the drink. Then,

"Can you add just a leetle more vodka. Not too much, you know, just a top off."

I add a shot.

"Oh perfect. Thats just right. It needed a little bit more. *conspiratorially* I won't tell anyone." *smirk* *wink*

She finally walks away. I reach for her ticket and charge her for it.

Her husband was another charmer. He refused to wait in line at all, expecting to sidle up to the wine side of the bar, and sort of sneak his glass my direction.

"Oh here. Could you just? Thanks, hon."

Hon. I hate the word "hon" from men in the bar. Right up there with "sweetheart." Never, "you're a sweetheart." Always, "Would you be a sweetheart and..." I've had very few "darlings" --usually from 'Good ol' boys"-- and a couple of "luvs" -- the occasional British patron -- but most often "hon." "Hon" is a cocktail waitress at Hooters. (Wait, I think I'm splitting hairs here)

But I digress. He did this all night. Sidle up. Whisper. Sliiiiiide the glass.

Oh, summer is upon us...

*I feel I should insert here that I don't dislike terms of indearment in general. After four years of being "honey" in Texas, you get rather enamored. I just dislike them from drunk patrons...*

Why do people insist on talking about you like you're A) stupid, B) deaf, or C) Not even there. A lady wanted to make a reservation for Easter weekend. She decided that she wanted "you know, whatever the best room is that you can give us....since it is our anniversary." So I closed the reservations screen to get back to the room rack so I could check out availability. "Oh no, we don't want a more expensive room...just, you know, whatever is the nicest." So I put her back in the room and had to ask her information again..."Oh, honey, she just forgot our information, didn't she?"

"She" is sitting right here...and wouldn't have lost your information if you hadn't changed your mind about the room...

A lady last night made a snitty comment about me and then looked at me and laughed like I should be enjoying the joke. I wish I could remember what she said...

I spent the afternoon browsing through my old posts. Wow! Some things haven't changed at all...my rants about work, having too much to do, and too little sleep. I think I might be a workaholic. No matter where I am, I'm always too busy with no time to enjoy life. So, I think I'm going to quit a job. I don't need the money to survive anymore, and I don't want to keep running ragged.

Hey everyone, I realised today that you have to republish your blog from time to time, so I did, and to make a long story short (too late) I have all my archives back. Strangely enough, my first set of rants ever sound ver similar to my latest ones...same old job, same old story!

I'm officially a bartender. How cool is that? Better pay, and I get to take home all of my tips. So far it's only once or twice a week, but every bit helps! People always look shocked when I talk about bartending and church in the same breath. (Isn't that kind of against your 'religion?') My conscience isn't bothered by it. Am I tempting people to excess? I don't know. Maybe I'll feel differently about this later, but for now...

Jesus was a bartender too

...ish.

At least, he brought drinks to the party...

I finished!

My cross stitch that I started three years ago and never finished....Well, I've finished the frame at least. I'm scrapping the design that is supposed to go in it, and putting a verse or poem or something in it instead. Words are much faster to embroider than anything else. Instant gratification. That's what we like.

In other news, I'm going to go home and put a third coat of paint on my chandelier....It's beginning to look very antique-y.