Wanting to write something deep

I wonder why Christians pray for spiritual maturity, but then gripe when the hard times come. Isn't this why we have them? Do we somehow expect maturity and perseverance to come while we're sitting around on the top of the mountain eating bonbons? And not the real "hard times." Like death, or poverty, loss of job or spouse or parent. But hard work, difficult circumstances. Things that don't go "exactly as planned."

I'm the worst about "my time." I hate to have it wasted. I hate waiting for people. Living with twelve people in a constant state of "wait, let me go get my bag, change my clothes, grab my key, wait, are you sure that's where we want to go" has probably been good for me, as frustrating as I find it some days. Today I thought if I had to wait one more second to begin the movie, I was going to throw the remote at something. I have read Screwtape Letters often enough to remember that time is not something we possess, but a gift we are given and have no control over. Even the number of our days isn't known to us. But somehow I still get miffed about my wasted hours and minutes. But God's been working on me with that. Learning to go with the flow and have a bit of patience, which is one more bit that I began tour with.

So, what does that have to do with the first bit? Well, in the midst of a miff over waiting, I had to be reminded, this is why I'm here. Not to perform, or to be in the spotlight (and it's hard to be conceited when you're up to your elbows in dishwater), but to learn and grow and learn to love people and God better. And don't I know that one's going to come back and bite me in the butt. Right now I'm quaking over the thought of having to sit down with someone and confront them about some things they've been doing lately, instead of taking the far easier route of ignoring and avoiding them. Which I've been doing for the past few days, and my team leader had to call me on it. And I really would rather just blow them off for another month. It would be less hassle. But then God brings this one back to mind:

"No Christian ever has a right to sever any relationship with anybody out of anger or pique, or even injustice, no matter how much he disapproves of someone's actions. It's our place to demonstrate reconciliation - not judgment or revenge or retaliation. That's God's business, not ours...When the lines of communication are cut so that two people can't even talk, what have you gained then? All you've done is sever what may have been God's only way into a man's heart." ~Catherine Marshall.

And, speaking of which, there's another unresolved reconciliation I've been putting off for a while that I really need to attend to.