Into the Woods

I'm on my way to Spokane to audition for Into the Woods in concert. We'll see how this goes!

CS Lewis, Miracles

I've written my 4th paper on CS Lewis - on Miracles. I put my class on hold while I went to Cambodia and now I'm trying to finish it. Lewis and jetlag don't mix, by the way, but I managed to read the book in the past few days, and write the paper this morning, due immediately. I really love academia as a hobby. I don't think I'd do very well with it as the main focus - eventually I'd wonder when are we going to stop talking about things and actually live them. The perpetual existance in the theoretical would drive me up the wall, I'd imagine. For me debate is fun, but only so long as it leads to something practical in the end. What's the point of solving the mysteries of the universe if it doesn't change the way you live your life.

My next paper is on Mere Christianity -- Lewis' most widely read non-fiction book. I'm looking forward to reading it again, as I've quoted it a lot in previous papers on Lewis.

So, I'm that person, am I?

So I'm that person, am I?

I caught a mental image of myself standing in line at the supermarket...all my groceries in my eco-shopping bag, blouse with traces of cat hair from petting Cai when I got back from Seattle. Somehow it all tied in with the usual question, "So, any men in your life we should know about?" Nope. Some good friends. And most of them, right now, are in Cambodia and far younger than me.

How is it that everyone around me seems to be all caught up in dating as a lifestyle. Did I miss the memo back in high school? Because now it seems that I've been so content (minus those lovely college years) to be single for so long, I don't even miss it. Other than the usual faint longing that stir when watching a Romantic Comedy or walking accidentally through the 'baby section' of anywhere. (I don't know anyone who can withstand the allure of baby booties. I know my sister sure as heck can't.)

I don't think I'm alone here. Though, four people I know have gotten married in the last 7 months or so. I don't hate men, in fact I rather like them as a whole. So what am I missing. Where did I lose the "must be in a relationship" drive. Was I absent that day?

You know you've been there, when

You know you've been there, when...

You're watching Will&Grace and there's a scene where she's standing in the KFC in Cambodia, and you start yelling -- There's no KFC in Cambodia. In Thailand. Not in Cambodia.

sigh.

Little Women

"Rich people have no right to sit down and enjoy themselves, or let their money accumulate for others to waste. It's not half so sensible to leave legacies when one dies as it is to use the money wisely while alive, and enjoy making one's fellow creatures happy with it. We'll have a good time ourselves, and add an extra relish to our own pleasure by giving other people a generous taste. Will you be a little Dorcas, going about emptying a big basket of comforts, and filling it up with good deeds?"

Louisa May Alcott
Little Women

Guilt ridden angst

Guilt-ridden angst night

I've been talking with some of the other westerners, all of whom are struggling with a combination of jet lag and culture shock. It's good to know I'm not the only one struggling with depression and guilt about all the stuff I have sitting around. My mother tried to give me a bunch of her clothes today and I couldn't take anymore. I have so much (none that fit right now -- but that's another story). The clothes she gave me were more than what I wore for 6 months in Cambodia. It's not the clothes -- Cambodian people in general have WAY more than I do. But we have so much stuff. Such clean streets. Such huge houses and green lawns. Paved roads. Grocery stores. Advertisements encouraging us to buy more and more. And I can't handle it right now. I can't walk though Wrays without getting flashes of the Mondulkiri Psar. I see someone's lovely green yard and see the yellowed patch of grass in Poipet where dozens of families are trying to have a picnic. I read the National Geographic in the waiting room and the pictures inside are more real to me than the doctors' office.

I'm struggling, and tired, and sleeping at odd hours, and depressed, and guilty, and overwhelmed.

So sorry that I haven't been out much. The little I've been out has been almost too much. Today I went the the doctor and almost cried at how clean the floor is. How much care was taken, compared to the 5 families stuck in one room with a woman coughing Tuburculosis everywhere.

So I'll try to get out more, but it's difficult enough staying in. There's nothing wrong with having things...and I'm trying so hard not to judge myself and judge others. But I have these pictures in my head now, that flash up in odd moments, and I want to cry almost all the time.

So, this too shall pass. Probably sooner than it ought.

I'm back in the country. I returned from Seattle yesterday, and after a short trip to the parents house to pick up my mail and my car, I went home for my first hot bath in six months. This morning I woke up at 4:30, had a coffee, did my quiet time, took a run, and then a hot shower. Yummy! Bisquits for breakfast, and quesadilla for lunch, and for dinner, I don't know. Something not involving rice!

So far I've seen my family and the Logsdons, and talked at some length with the Scobells. Today I have a phone date with my sister and Teri. I'm sure at some point I'll spend some time with actual people, but for right now -- ahhh the silence of my own apartment!

Flying out

I'm in Bangkok. I've had Panang Curry. Cheaper by the Dozen is playing on the television in the coffee house I'm checking my email in. Next door is Pizza Company and KFC -- but I decided to wait 'til I'm in America. My flight leaves tomorrow at 8:25, and I'll spend the longest July 29th in my life in the air. 38 hours in fact -- I leave Taipei at 4:30 in the afternoon and land in Seattle at 12:30pm - four hours earlier. Hurrah for time changes.

See you all after the longest tomorrow in my history!

Snapshots of outreach

Snapshot of Outreach

Well outreach is over, everyone is back in Battambang, our last week of teaching is over, and we're all beginning to feel the withdrawl from the people who have become our multinational family for the last six months. My suitcase is half-packed (the rest of my area is a disaster -- I'm never in my room, always out with friends, talking, enjoying last smoothies, last coffees, last trips to the market, last midnight conversations. My team today had our last Barbecue) and my mind is already on the 'next step.' It's going to be hard to leave here. Unlike most DTSers we've spent our entire time here, and all of our outreaches were in the same country as well. Last night we had our last "Fasting Friday" and spent two hours thanking God for absolutely everything about the last six months that we could think of -- and towards the end one Khmer student thanked God for all the foreigners who care enough about their country to come here and help them. Today is our last free day. I went to Sunrise for breakfast, then went home to meet Yaroth and Thearvy for a few hours. Now I'm going to head home to write in my journal before I forget all the things I saw, the things I learned, the stories I was told, and the disasters turned ministry opportunities.

So here in a nutshell is just a snapshot of my time in Ratanakiri and Mondulkiri:

This is Mondulkiri after a rainstorm. We walked about two and a half hours into the Senmaroon Forest. Everywhere we walked in this part of Cambodia was so beautiful with the lush green criss crossed with red dirt roads. (The same beautiful red country roads after the rain made clothes washing a nightmare)

Me at the BOO-srah waterfall. We spent the day there for fun when Garth came to encourage our team.

Ratanak and one of the youth at the church talk with a Tribal Man in the 'nearby' village. This man told us he is 100 years old. (I didn't even ask them to pose like that)

Me teaching English at the hospital. We were only encouraged to build a childrens room here with the stipulation that I would teach English, but most of the children were either too young or too sick to learn for long. So my English classes here were brief and mostly for the mothers. After about 15 minutes attention spans waned, and we could move onto....


....coloring with the children, which was far more fun for all of us.

Srey Mom, Marie and Srey Yung loved to help me sew yo-yos for my quilt. Most of them weren't quite up to par, but we came to a happy medium, and they all made enough yo-yos to have a headband apiece. (The boys would often join us as well)

"He Leads me beside quiet waters...he restores my soul." My own private cow pasture for devotions time. Psalm 23 will never be the same again.

Our team at Loka Village for the new church and orphanage opening. I was invited to cut the ribbon -- a big honor, I was told. Our last picture together as a team -- later that afternoon Bopha was injured in a moto accident and eventually went to Phnom Penh, Bangkok, and finally back to Argentina.
Top Row: Bopha, Sopheap, Me, Sumuuen
Bottom Row: Ratanak, Yee, Dina, Moses, Sokoen.

And just for you, Drea, me holding a pig's tail at the Mondulkiri Psar.

Harry Potter

The person who reads Harry Potter and spoils the ending for me before I can get back into the known world and read it will be heretofore excommunicated. (But if you want to read it and mail it to me in Washington, I'd be forever in your debt) :-)