I was reading a little more of William Barclay's Commentary today at lunch. I bought two new ones at a book sale at a local church...so I'm now working my way through the letters of John, Jude, Peter, and James. I came across this quote, "A man's own character will necessarily be necessarily determined by the character of the god whom he worships."

What does "my" god look like to other people, and how does "my" god affect my own life. In the Bible I find a God (old testament and new) that goes out of his way to find people, go where they are, and bring him back into relationship with Him. I often feel that I'm running around in circles trying to find him with little measurable success. I often fear a god who doesn't want me, and stands back with his arms folded waiting for me to mess up so he can guilt me into knowing how horrible I am, and how far away from his standard. God has told me that he will help me with my weaknesss, supplying me with his own strength to overcome them, or using them to let himself shine through.

There's hope. The more I read of my Bible, and talk to mature Christians, the more I'm able to see who God really is, and how far off this god is in my head. It takes a concerted effort each time to push away that god, and remind myself who God has revealed himself to be. Maybe I'll never "feel" God's love or forgiveness on a regular basis, but I'll be able be able to trust that he has given it. And I hope that the other god will someday get out of my head...