This job is hard. I mean it. Most days I can be pretty philosophical, and let things roll (as much as possible considering that You have to sell Yourself every time you walk into a room).
Today, I bombed an audition that I REALLY wanted. I prepared, I chose music, I worked on it for a week, I transposed the "easy" version back into the original key, I arranged good cuttings. But my coach wasn't available, and my musical director didn't have time to do more than run me through the music...and I walked in and did a terrible job. I had to stop and start over because I'd transposed the chords but not the melody, and so I started in a different key from the accompanist. My previous coach, who was playing for the audition, sent me a message with two frowny faces in it. It was that bad.
I've had a good cry now, and I'm feeling less useless. It's bad enough to do a bad job when you really felt ready to go blow it away. It's worse when it was on an audition that really meant something. Actually, that's usually when I flub the worst.
So, I have to go into the theatre tonight for tech. And try not to spill my guts all over a room full of other actors. And try to get over the disappointment that I most likely won't be considered for a role I'd have been REALLY suited for.
Sigh...
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