Friday, March 16, 2007

Plumbline

It is getting HOT in Cambodia. Everyone keeps saying "Wait until April." Well, we're almost there. If if falls below 85 at night we're really excited. Most nights sit around 90. (If it gets down to the 70's we pull out our blankets...funny how fast you acclimate)

A note on the wildlife. Outside my window is a rooster named Cornelius. He sits outside my bedroom window and crows at the rooster next door (Mercutio) beginning at about 4:15. This used to be a problem. Now, I kind of miss it when he doesn't get me up that early. My quiet time starts at 5, and if I've been up shaking my fist at Cornelius since 4, it's much easier to be awake. Sometimes Cornelius jumps the fence and comes to visit. He has the most beautiful feathers God ever gave a bird. Gorgeous, and he knows it. Noisy little sucker!

This week has been very difficult. My reaction to some of the various teachings, plus this being the "find out how far you really are from God's truth" have led to the unearthing of how much my relationship with God has been affected by other people, both directly in what has been said over the years about me, and indirectly through our family patterns. I had a doozy of a revalation yesterday, which I'm still reeling from, and it's going to be quite a process to change my thinking about God.

Confessing sins is easy. Changing habitual thoughts like "God doesn't really love me. I can't really please him. He only made me to be useful, not to love." oh and "This gooshy God emotion stuff applies to everyone but me." This is going to be a long process.

And anyone who wants to contribute to my ice cream budget, let me know!

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