A note to my email carrier:

Dear Internet service provider,

I want to thank you for the excellent level of junk mail protection you provide. Directing all of my personal mail to my junk mail box does make sure that I actually look over that inbox before deleting. And I so appreciate the excitement of thirteen new messages, only to find four letters guaranteeing me cheap flights or hotels, two Victoria's Secret coupons, Several half.com/ebay/amazon.com promotions, and at least one website offering enlargements for anatomy I do not currently possess...nor could I without some serious surgery. It does, however, make life interesting I must say. Thank you for anticipating the spice that is so missing from my life!