I can breathe!!! Through both nostrils! For the first time in 20 days...

Which is good, because I just ran out of kleenex!

The Great Divorce

The Great Divorce

And of that second kingdom will I sing
Wherein the human spirit doth purge itself
And to ascend to heaven becometh worthy
Dante, The Divine Comedy

The Great Divorce, by C. S. Lewis is a fictionalized journey to heaven “in the similitude of a dream.” 1 The author’s journey begins in the grey town; a city perpetually in twilight, where the populace is spread over millions of miles and getting further apart every minute. The author joins a group of people on a holiday excursion of the damned. 2 They ride a bus to heaven where each ghost is met by a Saint who has been sent back on their journey to bliss to give one last chance to the ghost in their charge to relinquish whatever keeps them in the grey city. This book raises question about Lewis’ theology of heaven, hell, and purgatory. 3 The subjects to be addressed are: does Lewis believe in unforgivable sin; does the doctrine of purgatory make an appearance; and does Lewis appear to believe in universal salvation.

Does Lewis believe in unforgivable sin? The Great Divorce shows a variety of types of sins. Some of the ghosts were guilty of “minor” sins; a propensity to complain, the desire to be attractive, or of putting too much stock into another human. Some clung to “moderate” sins; self pity, cruelty, and seeking intelligence instead of Truth. There are the Catholic “deadly” sins; pride, lust and greed. Damnation is not based on the severity of the sin: one of the saints had been a murderer. Redemption depends on what the ghost does when given a chance to relinquish its hold on whatever caused its banishment to the grey town. All sins are forgivable. Small sins are just as damning as great ones. The murderer was a Saint because he had thrown himself on the “Bleeding Charity” and was shown mercy. The man he was sent to save was a ghost on holiday, determined to only have his rights. He though himself a decent man, and only wanted his just deserts. God wanted to give him better than that, but the ghost wouldn’t accept anything not based on his own merits.

The ghost with the lizard on his shoulder presents the opposite circumstance. He had a certain level of self-awareness the first ghost had not; he recognized his sin and felt shame. He had tried, with all of his feeble power, to subdue the sin he couldn’t relinquish. It was still beyond his power to fully conquer that sin, and he knew that it could not accompany him to heaven. On the point of turning back to the grey country, where he and his lizard would both belong, he finally gave the lizard over to someone more powerful than himself. He gave permission for the lizard to be killed, and in turn he was transformed into a Saint. His sin also became its true self, not a hindrance, but a helpmate that sped his journey to the mountains. All sins can be redeemed only if they are given over to God to do what he wills with them.

Is Lewis’ view of Heaven in The Great Divorce similar to purgatory? Purgatory, according to Catholic Doctrine, is an in-between world for those that die in a state of grace to undergo purification in order to achieve the holiness necessary to enter heaven.” There is no true purgatory in The Great Divorce, only heaven and the grey town. The grey town is not purgatory because the people there are trapped outside of the state of grace: they cling to something other than God. It is not limbo – an unofficial doctrine of a place where the unredeemed good go to wait for Christ to redeem them. It is perhaps closest to what the Greek myths called Hades, and the Hebrews, Sheol. Hades is the gloomy abode of the dead, where almost all mortals go. When the belief of judgment after death became part of Greek thought, Hades became the destination of those who were not particularly good or bad. The grey city cannot be purgatory because the inhabitants of there are not redeemed. The suffering they undergo is of their own making and not intended for purification, which is the sole purpose of purgatory. George MacDonald tells Lewis of the grey town, “If they leave that… behind it will not have been Hell…it is Purgatory.” 4 So the grey area is not purgatory, it is hell. It may only be called purgatory in the past tense, by those that managed to escape. 5

Lewis does not appear to believe in Universal salvation; that all people will eventually find salvation and reconciliation with God. Lewis clearly expresses the opposite. The majority of those in the grey town never seek to leave it. Most of those who take the bus to heaven go back again because they cannot meet the demands placed on them; Some get back on the bus because Heaven is too foreign or not what they expected; Some are sent back to the grey town when, after being given their last chance for redemption, they refuse it, and disappear forever. In The Great Divorce, there is only limited neutrality. Once the sun rises, the boundary between Heaven and Hell will solidify. There will be no more transit from the grey town. “Any man may choose eternal death. Those who choose it will have it.”6 When the morning comes, time will end. Though every soul has been and will be given a chance to accept God or deny him – Christ descended into hell for that very reason – the gift of free will means that each person will have their own way in the end. If a person hasn’t prayed “thy will be done” and meant it, they will not be reconciled.

The Great Divorce is one of my favorite Lewis books because it presents him at his best: able to bring difficult doctrine down to a layperson’s level. It is not an easy book, but the theme that runs through it reminds me of how I fall short. It is easy to substitute religion for a relationship with God and presume that I am doing alright. I can faithfully go through the motions my whole life, but in the end that won’t matter because nothing I do will earn my way into heaven. My first full sentence as a child was, “I can do it myself,” and as far as I am able I still depend on myself more than others. But reading The Great Divorce reminds me that relying on my-self is the thing that gets in the way of my relationship with God. I go to him only as a last resort, preferring to handle things as long as I am able. But this book holds up the mirror mentioned in James and reminds me for a while that I must want God more than my own dependability. I have to be willing to seek help instead of relying on my own strength. I am similar in character to the ghost that wanted only those rewards he’d earned. By trying to win my way to heaven, I am essentially saying that I want the rewards of the afterlife without actually having to go through God to get them. Lewis reminds me that “…[God] will not be used as a convenience.”7 I often shy away from God, preferring to substitute charity and religion, theology and service; it’s easier to commit to tasks than a relationship. I want to get into God’s kingdom, but I want to have as little to do with him as possible. The Great Divorce reminds me again to “ask for the Bleeding Charity. Everything is here for the asking and nothing can be bought.” 8



1 John Bunyan, The Pilgrim’s Progress (London: Penguin Books Ltd., 1987), 2.
2 C. S. Lewis, The Great Divorce (New York: Harper Collins, 1973), 67.
3 It would be useful to differentiate between Lewis’ personal theology and the fictional afterlife presented in The Great Divorce. First, in The Great Divorce there are no sins which are not capable of being forgiven. Lewis, in his other writings, discussed the one “unforgivable sin” – blaspheming the Holy Spirit (Mark 3:29, New International Version). Secondly, though what exactly is supposed to represent purgatory is not clearly defined, Lewis himself strongly believed in purgatory. In Letters to Malcolm he says, “the saved soul, at the very foot of the throne, begs to be taken away and cleansed…the process of purification will normally involve suffering.” (pp. 109) Last, even though George MacDonald – one of the most renowned advocates of universal salvation - is Lewis’ spiritual mentor, both in life and in The Great Divorce, Lewis did not share that belief. He does, however, extend the possibility that those outside the faith may still be saved. In Romans, the apostle Paul states that those outside the law who still live according to it are an exception. (Romans 2:24-16, New International Version) Lewis’ fictionalization of this passage is in The Last Battle In the chapter ‘Further Up and Further In’ of The Last Battle, p.165; A young Calormene officer is admitted into the new Narnia, though he’d been a servant of Tash all his life. Aslan tells him, “all the service [you have] done to Tash, I account as service done to me…unless [your] desire had been for me, you [would not] have sought so long and so truly. For all find what they truly seek.”) Though it is clear what Lewis himself believes, The Great Divorce is not strictly his particular view of the afterlife. He allows multiple doctrines, both Catholic and Protestant, and does not limit this writing strictly to his own beliefs.
4 Lewis, The Great Divorce, 68.
5 An alternative to the grey city for purgatory would be the difficult journey through the mountains to “Deep Heaven.” I would argue that Lewis meant this journey in a different capacity. In his Letters to Malcolm, Chapter XX, p.108-9, Lewis speaks of purgatory as a process of purification that “will normally involve suffering.” This process is done at the instigation of the saved soul that “at the very foot of the throne, begs to be taken away and cleansed.” He clearly contrasts this with process once in heaven of the “perpetual increase of beatitude, reached by a continually more ecstatic self-surrender, without the possibility of failure, but not perhaps without its own ardors and exertions.” In The Great Divorce the Saints promise, “It will be joy going to the mountains, but there will be plenty of work.” This is not a suffering, but the becoming of their true self. Both processes involve toil, but the first is made of suffering, and the second of joy.
6 Lewis, The Great Divorce,140.
7 C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters (San Francisco: Harper Collins, 1942), 127.
8 Lewis, The Great Divorce, 28.

Well here's a twist. A job I'd thought of as temporary and transitory has just called and offered to "groom me for management." I'd be on a yearly salary, but only have to work about 6 months a year and could do whatever I liked with the rest of the time....

Too many choices! Happy New Year everybody!

New Year

Another New Year is upon us. Shudder. Another marker that tells us how little we've accomplished thus far, and a chance to make it all right again by the next one. I'm always very conscious about the new year. I think that's because my birthday is so close to it, and so every year feels like a complete unit. I haven't thought of any resolutions this year. I have a lot a decisions to make between now and February first -- about where to go, what to do, and in which order. Once again I'm standing poised waiting for my marching orders. Or not. I wonder sometimes why God took someone as type-A as myself and gave me a life that is filled with uncertainty. For example. By February 1st I will either be: Still here. Moved to California. Moved to England. Moved to Cambodia. Or moved to Seattle. I really have no idea whether I should be packing my car right now or selling it. And I'm fine with that. It's an adventure as usual. I'm ready for a change, I think. But this time strangely cogniscant of the fact that I'm not "as young as I used to be" and I'm starting to want to find whatever it is I'm "supposed to be doing." Old priorities are changing, but not giving way. New desires are coming, unrequited to the forefront, with no outlet yet. Options are being thrown to the four winds in the hopes that whatever falls to the ground will all fit neatly into the schedule of the next year. Some longer term goals are beginning to poke their heads up -- further college, new majors, some travels.

So welcome, another new year. We all await to see what you will bring this time.

This is my first paper for the Masters Class on CS Lewis and his writings. I was asked to write papers that are not "author said" but not research. I've met the requirements with some level of success, although the original paper had 8 works cited. I'm sorry to say the endnotes don't seem to be replicable in this format.


The Problem of Pain

For suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character, hope.
St. Paul: The Letter to the Romans

In the beginning, we are told, humans were created in God’s image. They were to be the stewards of the land, and over other animals, and in that state of perfection “they felt no shame.”1 Unlike the rest of creation, man was given free will. Even though God walked with them in the Garden of Eden, our ancestors had a choice to commune with him or not. For them the choice was very simple; to love God above themselves, or themselves above God. To them the will of God was a presence that seemed to carry them along, and a delight to do so, but as the woman in Perelandra discovered, “I thought that the good things he sent me drew me into them as the waves lift the islands, but now I see that it is I who plunge into them with my own legs and arms.” This free will, which allows us to distinguish ourselves from God, though he is everywhere and in all, was the gift that God gave humanity. When mankind fell, it became the cause of pain.

Lewis sums up the Doctrine of the Fall of Man thus; “He made all things good, and for the sake of their goodness; that one of these good things…the freewill of rational creatures, by its very nature included the possibility of evil, and that creatures, availing themselves of this possibility, have become evil.” The first sin was naturally the most simplistic; that for the first time humans chose themselves over God. Humans were convinced of the lie that we all believe so readily, that God is withholding some happiness, and by our own power we intend to get it. That striving for what we think we want is the root of all the suffering, pain and misery we experience. We can see that all around us. Every time we choose to do something, and to hell with the consequences, we have twisted something that may have been meant for our good. Sometimes God will say no, and we’ll go ahead with our own plans, only to find out that the path we wrested from him by our own will was the path he intended for us all along. The action isn’t as important as the will behind it. In everything we do we must add the preface,“Your will be done, and if it isn’t what you want, take it from me.”

While suffering is a natural byproduct of the fall, it also serves as our redemption from it. Pain is the means by which God alerts us to our present state of wretchedness. “It is true that everything teaches man his condition…what are we to conclude from all our darkness but our unworthiness.” Pain serves three functions; to help us surrender our self will: to shatter the illusion that we have all we need; and in an extreme case, to force us to act (for our own good) in opposition to our inclinations. Pain is not good in itself, but like all in our fallen world, it is used by God for our salvation and development of character. The danger of free will is that humans can still choose how to react to the pain they encounter. Either we can use the opportunity to submit to God and refine virtues such as patience or charity, or we can rebel against Him. We can say with Job, “though he slay me, yet will I hope in him” or with his wife “curse God and die”.

One paradox that Lewis introduces, but doesn’t solve is the good aspects of suffering and the Christian (and Judaic) admonition to alleviate suffering wherever it is to be found. Throughout history God has been concerned with the sufferings of those who cannot defend themselves. Judaic law protected the widows, orphans and foreigners. The prophets often mentioned abuses of those laws as one of the key reasons that Israel was allowed to be overrun by the reigning nation du jour. In Christ’s wake “blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and good news is preached to the poor.” Lewis does not address this issue in The Problem of Pain except to say that the paradox exists. It is certain that suffering in others allows us to practice the virtue of Charity. Our own suffering, if we will let it, can not only benefit ourselves, but allow those around us to come to our aid and offer support, encouragement, and expressions of Faith. Speculative charity will “soon become the corroding rust that will destroy the best feelings of our nature.”

The chapter on animal pain is the section that Lewis addresses the least. Since animals are incapable of sin and virtue, they neither deserve pain nor are benefited from it. We tend bestow on animals our own human emotions. They do feel pain and react to it, but not on the same level. Biblically speaking, animals were said to be herbivores until the fall, but scientific evidence shows that animals were carnivorous long before humans were in the picture. Animal immortality is not mentioned in the Bible, but that hardly serves as evidence since human immortality was a concept introduced only at the very end of the Old Testament. It is only with the coming of Christ that the Kingdom of Heaven becomes a real place. Perhaps one of the purposes of unfallen humanity was the redemption of animals. In Perelandra the Green Woman is surrounded by animals that are almost rational. The woman says, “we make them older every day…is that not what it means to be a beast?” This process of making animals more rational is theoretically what would give them immortality. “In her they became themselves. And now the abundance of life she has in Christ…flows over into them.” Perhaps animals will be saved, but it will not be on account of the suffering they endure on earth. That is the sole prerogative of humanity. It is hard to picture heaven without other creatures. But as Aslan says we are never told any story but our own.

What struck me most, was in the section on Heaven; the idea of that something “other” that we catch glimpses of in books, movies, music and nature. Sometimes while reading I’ll come across a passage that reminds me of something I’ve never seen. “I don’t know what it is. But sometimes I see something. And maybe it’s beyond.” I find the beyond at the end of Lord of the Rings, when Frodo leaves for the grey havens; in The Blue Castle when Valancy lives on the island; when Wendy and Peter fly off to Neverland as the music swells; throughout Marc Adamo’s Little Women; and at the end of John where it supposes that all the things Jesus did were written down there wouldn’t be room in the whole world for all the books that could be written. Numinor. The numinous. That sense of awe we feel when for just a moment the curtain drifts aside and we catch a glimpse of something beyond ourselves and our small lives. It is that longing that makes me yearn for heaven. That longing makes all of the suffering more bearable. It is that sense of beyond that makes all of the wonderful small blessings we come across so special: because in them we see reflections of that which is waiting for us, if we can only “work out our salvation with fear and trembling” and one day, to cross over. “One day you will either find that you have attained it, or that it was within your reach and you have lost it forever.”

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Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Did someone order a white Christmas. Because boy do we have one!!! I have four inches of snow out my window. I joined the ranks of Washingtonians everywhere. I put on my Uggs, tied my new bathrobe, and went out to tackle the driveway in my pajamas. I wasn't alone. My neighbor and I didn't talk, but we often shovelled in tandem.

Ahhh the joys of adulthood.

Perfume

Has anyone else noticed an overwhelming amount of perfume commercials featuring A-C list stars?

Well the good news is, today I'm wearing clothes again. The bad news, my diet consists mostly of mint tea and various types of chicken based soup. And the parents have cancelled the family vacation to California...Aunt Dawn is sick too, and doesn't want to get off her deathbed to drive.

I've begun my first class. I've just finished reading The Problem of Pain and am halfway through my first paper. I bought a book by Pascal called Pensees which I used for a few quotations in the paper. It's not really a book, so much as a collection of notes for the book that wasn't written.

And tea break.

And kleenex.

And that's about it. Christmas is coming. My shopping is done. And most of the cards have been sent. I think. Actually I got halfway through the list, put it in a drawer, and forgot about it. Maybe I should check that out before my head goes back into fuzzy mode. oh. oh. Too late.

I'm not a big fan of medicine. I mean for the small stuff. Usually my preferred plan is suck it up and wait it out, because, after all, if we dope ourselves up for every minor illness, eventually it will take bigger and bigger guns to cure the bad stuff. And what happens when you run out of guns? Well, anyway, Fuzz. And besides, the study somewhere says that rats in the wild are actually far better able to combat illness than lab rats because their immune systems were allowed to come in contact with diseases and build up antibodies. (Is that the right word? Antibodies?) So, go immune system, go! And if it gets really bad, I'll spring for an Ibuprofen.

Little Red Boat is back from vacation, and pithy as usual. Hurrah!

And now I'm off in a quandary about what to do after the holidays. I'm exploring options again, and there's always the deal in California, which may be smart, but I won't have the chance to see it for myself before I have to be down there to work, and I'm running out of tolerance for "just a job." I'd sort of like to start focusing on whatever it is I want to do. Hm. Plan one, decide what it is I want to do.

Not so easy. I've been doing that for six months now (at least) and can't come to any conclusions. My only plan now is to keep exploring options for the time being and see what comes to the forefront. Reality is sinking in and telling me that I have a limited amount of time at my disposal (and likely shorter than I'm allotting). How much longer can I continue this inability to PICK SOMETHING.

The deal is, and maybe this is more a dear diary moment than a blog moment, but I made a mistake in high school. God called me to *something unspecific* and I chickened out and ran. I decided that I was going to be a performance person, and maybe tell somebody about him sometime. If I felt like it. And it was miserable. Not the performing part, but the everything else part. And I'm glad of that, because if it hadn't been, I wouldn't have told God to have his way because my way sucked. Then I took some time off, healed a bit, toured in a ministry capacity - that was nice - and then failed at a ministry after that. Badly.

So what do I do now? I love working in ways that allow my life to be a benefit to others. And I enjoyed the dinner theater because it combined the two - theater and ministry - but I've turned down two tours now since then. I have an aversion to "Christian" drama because it's often cheesy, and being in the forefront of "popular christiandom" has never been my thing. But then, do I want to go back into performing, which may have been a vanity thing. I can't tell. Was it the right profession but wrong then because I was determined to do it whether God wanted me to or not? Is it right now, or should I completely give it up and find something more worthy of what little time we have -- because after all, performing really is a very selfish job. So much of it is self-promotion, and while some people may be able to perform without turning into a raging diva, but many can't. If you become really famous that's another thing, because then you could "use your powers for good" though many don't. I have all this talent that I feel like I'm squandering. And then there's academia. I'm good at school. I like studying and learning. But what do I pick? I love theology, and english literature, and there's even a third-world economics and politics course that looks interesting. But that's several years of my life to dedicate to going back to school. I still haven't paid off the last degree that I only use occasionally. And then there's options like YWAM vs seminary vs public university programs. Or working for charities I already support.

Oh what a downer. But that's where I am, and could use some prayers because I need to pick something, and nothing's coming. Nothing's obvious. And I don't want to choose-- I, as usual, want to do it all.