Settled Again...finally

Settled Again...Finally.

I'm now moved into my new place. Alone for the moment. A little concerned about expenses until job #2 picks up a little. Speaking of which, I called in for my schedule on Friday, found out that I was supposed to work today. left early today to get there on time (after coming in 2 hours late last week) and was told the schedule had changed and I wasn't working. New rule: call closer to monday.

I'm back to the Entre Nous guide to living. I've started walking to the grocery store once a day to pick out about the next three meals worth of food. This is partly thrift, since I have almost no money, and am currently borrowing from my tithe cache, and partly because I can buy little bits of very fresh food instead of all the processed crap. This morning I had a cup of coffee, a banana, and yogurt. For lunch I had a baked potato with butter and cottage cheese. Tonight I will be resorting to tuna helper, but instead of canned tuna, I'll be adding a pound of imitation crab meat to the garlic cream pasta. Tomorrow, more yogurt and another banana with my coffee. Tomorrow lunch, another baked potato. And then probably tuna helper leftovers for dinner with the remaining fresh broccoli and french bread.

I'm going to go now. I'm using the library computer, and it takes about a minute for the screen to catch up with my typing. Free evening, I'll probably be working on some sewing projects.

Highlight of the Sermon on Sunday

"If religion was all that was needed, then Jesus was just a bad Jew having a bad Friday." ~Garth Gustafson

Old Shadows of Ecstacy

Old Shadows


Rachel: "And the first day of Christmas is..?"

2nd Grader: "A porridge in a pantry?"



Rachel: "So, Denise. Bible Study? Jackson's? Tuesday night?"

Sean: *Almost sprays the table with $8.50 per glass wine* "Alright guys, that's enough Bible study, lets go get drunk."

Rachel: "If I could drink I wouldn't mind drinking at Bible Study."

Tasha: "My friends bring a six pack to ours."

Nancy: "My brother is a pastor and he has a brewery in his basement."



Rachel: "And the first day of Christmas is?"

1st Grader: "December 25th?"



Denise: "You should see her house."

Allison: "That's nothing! You should see my shoe."

Sean: "There's two sentences I've never heard before."



Sean: "Every time I hear this song I think of the funeral scene in Lethal Weapon II."



Dawn: "Um...52."

Rachel: "Took you a while, didn't it?"

Dawn: "I had to double it. It was hard!"



Rachel: "Cindy, your son just called."

Cindy: "Again? The boy's sixteen. Cain't he do nothin' by his-self?"



"Miss Kunze. You know what's cool? When you started to sing you made the sun come out."



"...Once an ostrich went yodelling..."

The thing about today is

Today I was driving around trying to find a box spring to buy at any of the thrift stores in town, and I got a phone call. It was Sarah. Asking if I was coming in to work. No, I thought I work tuesday. Nope. I was supposed to be there half an hour ago.

Crap.

So I rushed home, detoured around road construction, and threw on my clothes. I made it into work almost exactly two hours late.

And to top it off, my stockings are being held on by rubber bands.

They kept falling down at work.

I need to invest in another garter belt.

Very Very long day

I had a very very long day.

Yesterday I worked, after getting home at almost 3am the night before. Last night was weird. It was so slow for a long time, and just before nine I stopped picking up tables thinking that I was going to have to be sent home shortly. Then a rush came in, and the other waitress started taking tables. We realized that this wasn't a fluke, and I was still waiting on a table, so I picked up three more hoping to get a little of the action before I left. Turned out that the three I picked were slow drinking "lingerers." At 11 they had stopped drinking, but were still content to sit and listen to the music, and didn't want their check just yet. 12:00. Still standing around. Haven't served another drink. Finished sidework. Kept helping other waitress at her tables. 12:30, finally closed out. But of course it is daylight savings now, so 12:30 is actually 1:30. Got home after 2:30. Have to be up at 6 or so. So I decided to change into my church clothes, take out my contacts, leave on my makeup, and just curl up for a couple of hours before I have to be up to take Allie and myself to our various churches.

Got up at last possible second. Touched up makeup. Put in contacts. Ran us both through starbucks for breakfast. Then two services at church.

Excellent sermon. Special speaker. I sat through the 9:30 service to hear it again, then picked up Allie and we both listened to the 11 o clock broadcast while we ate our lunch. Denise and I and maybe Kris are going tonight to hear him speak again. He's doing a three night talk on Hearing God's Voice. I'll give the hightlights later, since it's time to start picking people up.

Feeling Grown Up again

Feeling Very Grown Up

I was looking at my mastercard statement to find a couple of charges I made to get to LA and I found a late fee. I panicked for a second, and realized that it was a $19 late fee on residual finance charges leftover from when I *thought* I'd paid off my credit card. But the payoff online didn't account for the five or so days it took for everything to go through. So then they charged me the residual finance charges, and then a late fee for not paying it off on time. And I called them and they took care of it.

I feel very responsible for not just paying them another 19 out of pocket on their mistake.

I am very tired, but wide awake from the coffee I drank to stay awake at the end of my shift. So now I'm doing finances waiting for caffeine buzz to end.

Very Tired

Very Tired.

Got off work after 1:30. Weather bad on pass, so drive took longer than usual. Plus, there were deer in the road.

Worked 8.5 hours today cocktailing. And really drunk people are the worst tippers imaginable due to the inability to multiply out 20%. Or at least 15%. One person, and I'm not even exaggerating, gave me a 4% tip. He handed me $40 on a 38.25 tab and magnanimously allowed me to "keep the change." The night wasn't a total waste. I made $85. Could have made a little more though. And since my tip money is all that is paying the bills right now, I need every bit I can get.

I'm sure I realised this before, but Bridget Jones: the edge of reason is not Pride and Prejudice like the first one, but Persuasion. Someday, when I'm not so tired that I may be incapable of taking out my contacts, I'll analyse this further.

Tango

T-a-n-g-o

I'm learning a tango. Not how to, generally. Just the one. A friend of my parents saw them at a country club dance and asked if I would be willing to learn a tango with him for the auditions for the Hospital Follies. They said to call me and ask. He did. And we've talked about it. He's very thrilled to get a "professional." A professional what, I wonder, because the last time I was cast as a dancer I broke my foot by falling off it. Performer, he said. So I've pulled out the DVD of Shall We Dance. I'm learning the big Tango in the middle. Learning to tango by oneself? V. difficult (sorry, still on my Bridget Jones kick). Learning to tango with 14 year old sister doing Richard Gere's part? Better, but difficult on the picky uppy parts where she tries to prove that she's hercules, which usually ends with me on the floor. Learning the tango with Denise, who actually dances, with boyfriend Omar running the remote control so that the movie will play in slow motion while we figure out where my feet are supposed to go and what to do in the inconvenient film cuts? Much easier. As Denise is more qualified to identify specific footwork and pick me up when needed. However, it will be nice to get a MAN into the dance equation. Chemistry and upper body strength and all that.

And speaking of Bridget Jones, I'm sorely tempted to track down a tape player and listen to the rest of the thing. It may be my evening splurge, since nobody is calling me this evening. And there are several people I'd like to hear from, one that I would like very much to hear from as has been very busy, one I want to call but know I shouldn't, and several I should call, but don't want to this evening, as that would be a very long call from having not talked to them in ages.

Does anyone else emulate the style of writing of whichever author you are currently reading? In my case, I'm a little Helen Fielding combined with Laura Ingalls Wilder, as am listening to one and reading other. Read complete Little House on the Prairie books in past three days. Love being less employed but making more money. Love free time and daylight. Love fact that will have free summer in Yakima Daylight, even though means selling out in short term on old dream. Must get some purpose in life soon. Maybe next year. Right now am trying to pay off debts quickly so options will be open. Perhaps will move to England, or Seattle, or Provence or other such exotic locale. Must brush up on French, though.

Am done emulating Bridget. Though is easy. One must leave out small words and refer to self in third person.

At long last, I have given in.

At long last, I have given in...

I checked out my first books on tape for the commute. I've always rather looked down my nose at them. But I'm tired of my own music and shouldn't spend any more money for now. Currently listening to: Bridget Jones; the Edge of Reason. Complete and Unabridged. V. Good so far. Tapes listened to: 1. Tapes left to go: 7.

Next up is the Mermaid Chair, which I've thought looked good for a long time but didn't want to buy hardcover.

And so, now what

And so, now what?

I opted not to audition for Leavenworth this year. I just can't get myself geared up to relocate again in another couple of months, and with all the moving and packing, I didn't have time to adequately prepare for the audition. I'm still young enough to do it next year.

Yesterday I went to Starbucks on 72nd to do devotions over a cup of Caramel Apple Cider. The two men sitting next to me are either pastors somewhere, or very devoted laypeople. I kept overhearing snatches of conversations about church building, pastors, etc. And as I left, they were praying.

I'm feeling at a loss over not doing this audition. Part of it has to do with being in touch with former studio mates now that Stacey is sick again. I don't feel like a failure, exactly, though that has come up, but I feel adrift. I don't know why I'm here. I'm at peace, or maybe resigned about where I am, the decisions I've made, and the places I've been since leaving Baylor, but one can only drift for so long. Or at least I can. I am at peace about quitting the mission. Conformation of that is the fact that I was instantly able to sleep through the night without pills, and I gained back 12 pounds in two and a half weeks. I really like my new job. I think I can make some good money for the first time in several years, and I may be able to finish paying things off and be done with it all. And then what?

I could go back and try performing again. Or I could travel. I'm kind of burned out on ministries for the time being.

Sunday I went to an Assembly of God church with a friend who is church hunting and I offered to go with him. Good sermon. Good music. Good powerpoint. Two altar calls. Lots of praying. Some praying in tongues and clap offererings and the like. To be expected. But it made for a two hour service. The sermon was on Psalm 23:6 "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death." He referenced last weeks sermon on problems, reminding us that if problems are of our own making, we need to repent; if they are temptations, we need to resist; if we are being tresspassed agains, we need to release and forgive; and if it is a trial, we need to hold on and trust God. Then he talked about going through the valleys -- and how they are inevitable. Everyone has them, Christian and non-Christian alike. The difference being a chance to figure out what God wants you to learn from you valley. Also valleys are great places to learn how to pray. I felt convicted there. I think I didn't spent nearly as much time praying and reading my Bible as I could have when I was going through all of the upheaval of the past few months. Partly because I was told that I ought to go off for a while and seek God. So of course, considering the source, that was the very thing I resisted. To my detriment and no one elses. But the last point of the sermon was that simply going through trials is not a judgement on your faith. That was comforting. I've been feeling like I failed somehow because I couldn't be what they wanted of me. And judged and found wanting. And unfit for ministry. So, now that I'm out of the ministry, I suddenly want to read my Bible, and go to church, and continue Bible study. I'd been doing the manditory things -- bible study and church attendance, but my devotions went down the drain. Now I'm getting back in the swing of things again. A little at a time. And hopefully tonight I'll be done with work early enough to make Bible Study at Jacksons. It's going to be a long day. I have to teach and then get almost immediately on the road to make it to work by 3.