There is the most beautiful thing at the antique shop. It's a had carved wooden cross, about 3 feet high, with a beautiful Christ hanging on it -- carved out of a lighter colored wood. It was hanging on a door, but we took it down to display some old purses. It's hiding under the settee so no one will step on it, but she's planning on giving it to her son and his wife sometime. The same two people who are giving away her antiques away right and left. If I only had $480 to spend, I would buy it and bring it home. I don't think I could hang it in my apartment, although I'd love to. Another thought was to buy it for our youth room. Episcopals still put christ on the cross don't they? (hmm...maybe only catholics). Too bad -- it's wonderful!

Work was tense today. Not a bad day -- but Lynne (the owner) and Jayne (another older lady) were the only others on. Lynne was short tempered, and Jayne is a little....clumsy? clueless? I'm not sure what. She's the nicest lady alive, and she tries so hard to be helpful, but sometimes you just want to tell her to leave it alone and let someone else do it. She only has one spiel when anyone walks in the door way "Hi folks, lots of goodies to look at..big and small. If you have any questions we'll try to answer them for you." I found myself mouthing along this afternoon. I found myself getting frustrated with her "help" this afternoon, and then I realized, I will be just like her when I get old. I'm clumsy, and doggedly determined to do everything myself. When I'm older I'm sure I'll keep trying to be useful. And I'm sure I'll cause lots of younger people to shake their heads and wonder why I don't just go somewhere else and leave the work to the competent. So, keeping that in mind, I'm trying to treat her as a competent, and respect her as an elder. I'm ashamed to admit that I still got impatient a lot. One of her legs is an inch or two shorter than the other (the result of an airplane gangplank being removed while people were still on it). So she totters around the antique shop coming perilously close to falling on things. In fact she did fall down last week, breaking several lawn ornaments in the process, but mercifully not breaking her hip. Lynda launches tirades, wanting Lynn to not let her come back because next time she might seriously hurt herself, or break something more valuable. But, if I were in Jayne's place, I wouldn't want to be condescended to. I keep remembering the week that I danced a show on a broken foot because I was NOT going to lose the role. Well, anyway it's not my shop, and I don't have to make that decision. But I need to treat her with respect, even when I'm frustrated because I'm picking up something that she's knocked over for the dozenth time.

Time for an open forum for all of you out there. I walked the dog last night, and was thinking about Psalm 23 (thanks for the suggestion Teri) which is the only one I know front to back. Anyway. When I got to the last line "And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever" I started thinking about something C. S. Lewis had written in his Reflections on the Psalms. He reminds us that in our Christian application of Old Testament writings, we forget that the ancient Jews had no hope of "grace" as we consider it, and (and this had changed by the time Jesus was born) also had not yet begun to believe in "heaven." (or hell for that matter. They thought of an afterlife similar to the ancient Greeks) So, the above phrase must refer to this life, not the next one. I'm not trying to profound here -- I'm sure this thought has crossed everyone's mind. So, taken in the context that it was written, how does that phrase apply to your life? Aaron, Teri, Darryl, Drea -- lets hear it!

Nothing has been determined. Looks like Yakima for the moment, but they've been given a few more days to tell them definitly, although they have jobs. Dad will be teaching (I think) elementary music at Gilbert Elementary, and mother will be teaching SpEd at IKE. So...to pack, or not to pack. That is the question. ARRRRGGGGGhhhhh.

Well, today is the determining day. As of now, Dad has decided to move back to Yakima, lease a friends other house until either they decide to buy a house, or the current tenants are out of the one they own. The northern California job is supposed to call today at 3. The Christian academy is the best bet -- but the longest shot. They need a forth grade teacher now, but eventually they want to open a high school. My dad has his masters in curriculum development, and taught high school for 22 years. It would be perfect. They aren't meeting until Wednesday, which is too late -- he has to call Yakima back today. It would take a miracle. I'm holding out for one. 8 hours to go.......

My first work related injury...I cut my finger on the foil on a bottle of wine. Ouch -- sliced in up nicely. I don't think I have to report it officially. If, however, I contract tetanis or something, I can't make work pay for my medical expensis. I think I'll risk it. Too much paperwork

I finished Moll Flanders. It is the strangest book I've ever read. After countless lovers, a life as a professional and notorious thief, jail time (incidently, being writtin in the 17th century, they called inmates "penitentary birds" -- ever wonder how old that phrase is? There you go), a death sentence, and deportation to Virginia -- she meets up with one of her husbands (she had at least 3 living, one of whom they discovered to be her brother) in jail. After bribing the captain to set them free upon reaching America, they become plantation owners, repent completely, and live out the rest of their days in peace and prosperity. Very interesting. She makes a big point in prison that she was not repentant for what she had done, merely sorry that she was being punished. Only afterwards did she turn around, repent, and proceed to live the rest of her life on her ill-gotten goods. Hmmmmmm. I broke my cardinal rule and read the book AFTER I had seen the movie. The movie was good, but had (as usual) absolutely nothing to do with the original story. I may have to read the book again to decide if its worth keeping or not. It is the absolute antitheses of Tess of the Dubervilles.

Things are heating up around here. It's time for another case of "God's amazing sense of humor" to strike. My father has until the 15th of July to tell the Yakima school district if he will be coming back to work for them (he can afford to live there, but there's nothing he really wants to do). A few days ago, 4 other job offers opened up all over California. The Christian Academy is interviewing him tonight for a 4th grade position. The local school districts are trying to pull together one full time position between the four of them, and they'll let him know tomorrow. A school district in Southern California is letting him know in the next couple of days what job he has, and another in northern california. The problem is that all of these jobs don't pay enough for him to afford to buy a house (Ken is selling their house and reposessing their car) even if he and mom both work full time next year. It seems to me that some amazing offer is going to come in on the 15th that will allow them to afford to live, but not mean moving back to Yakima. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part -- but isn't it just like Him to send in something amazing at the last minute? My dad is just sitting back and waiting for "door to open or close" as he always does. He's such a wise man -- I'll never be half as good as he is. I wish I could sit back and wait -- I tend to ask for direction, and then dash about pell mell. How does one "wait for God" anyway? As I said before, I gave my life over, but he isn't directing (that I can see -- which of course is limited). I feel like my life is in limbo -- like, God is waiting for me to stop running in circles and run toward him instead. But this isn't about me, it's about my father. (Both of them .. ha ha) Any of you who pray -- please pray for my family if you think of it. It's getting tense around here. Mother doesn't want to move. She hates the cold, and the winter, and the lack of sun. There must be a happy medium that doesn't involve my father either in a job he hates for the next 12 years, or both of them working like dogs to live. We'll know in 4 days. Yikes

We were opening boxes in the store today, and I came across three yards of five inch wide silk satin ribbon. They just don't make that quality of silk anymore -- no one could afford to buy it. I wanted to buy it off Lynne, but she won't sell it to me. Darn it! It's amazing...very old too.

I have created a monster. What on earth am I going to do with this one. Juan has decided that I am the most wonderful person in the world. he calls 5 times a day -- even when he knows I'm at work. He leaves messages on my maching "Hi--I miss you, just wanted to hear your voice. Bye Sweetie. Redhead. Angel." He comes up and pinches my cheek at work, and tries to get all mushy -- which; at work? The last thing I want is to become the object of speculation for the entire Alisal staff. They're the biggest group of gossips ever. I can understand being this mushy if, say, we had dated for ages, and perhaps were engaged. But THREE DATES?! He doesn't even read. One can't carry on an intellectual conversation with him at all. Our entire conversation when we go out consists of him telling me how much he's going to miss me. We walked around town and he kept trying to hold my hand, or touch my hair, or kiss my cheek. He took me to a bookstore, and made no pretence of actually being interested in them. He just wanted to follow me around an breathe down my neck. He won't ever see me again after another couple of weeks. He doesn't even KNOW me. He doesn't know what I like, or dislike, or what I read, or what kind of movies I like, or anything. I don't think he's a Christian (a TOP priority...should have asked him BEFORE I went out, but how does one bring that up in casual conversation?) And to compound the issue, I'm going out with Jeremy tonight (he, by the way, is a Christian). He asked me out the same night Juan did, but our schedules didn't match up until now. This has gotten too complicated. Now what am I supposed to do with this.