Wednesday, February 19, 2014

And, Now What?

This has been a frustrating and immensely fulfilling year. Six years into my five year goal of seriously pursuing my vocation(s) to see if it was possible to make a living in theater, I am seeing some results. I am getting steady, well-paying acting work from one of the "big houses," and starting to have other houses take interest as well. In 6 months, I will have done enough work to have qualified to join the Actor's Equity Union, and will have to make a decision on that sooner than I'd imagined.

On the design front, doing alterations for the Big Corporate Empire now pays most of my bills, leaving me a little freer to be a little choosy. I've recently had the time to take on an assistanceship with another designer in town, and had the opportunity to work on the ground floor of some major productions in a very small capacity.

On the negative side, one job that I'd had for several years suddenly evaporated when they hired another designer to take over. Admittedly, it was a good move in the end. It was a job I had less and less time for with a very long commute for the pay. I hear the new designer has managed to convince them that the job isn't possible as a part-time position. Also, this summer I finally said goodbye to the waitressing job I'd had for five summers. The money was excellent, but the work environment was very poor. On a day when equipment had broken down, and a busser was sent home afterwards, we were forced to run food up and down the hill from the lower kitchen. The boss came in and told me I was the worst server ever (not true - I'd outlasted every one of my co-workers), I finished the day, but called in and quit. Both jobs were a relief to let go, in the end. After a lifetime of happy employment at most places, it was strange to leave two jobs within weeks of each other.

The luxury of choice is a new one. Suddenly, after being geared for years to take any gig for any pay just for experience, I'm finding 2-3 shows per year to be plenty, without needing to pack in extra things during my down time. Admittedly, doing five month runs of shows instead twelve performances does make the evenings at home a nice change for a few weeks. This year I will have only 16 weeks off from doing 6-day-per-week runs. Design-wise, the houses are getting better and better. The pay has stayed in a similar spectrum for now, but the professionalism of the company is improving so much that it's suddenly a shock to go back into the places that are badly run and perpetually short on cash when contracts come due.

All of this isn't meant as a brag. Many people who begin working in this town at about the same time are experiencing similar upward motion. Actors that I've done the audition rounds with are having similar success in the same houses. Designers graduate upwards, leaving space for new faces in the medium places. I used to look longingly at the clique-y groups in the middle of the room at callbacks, wishing for a friendly face. Now there's very few places I go where there isn't someone I've worked with before. The theater community is a very small group.

The better pay coming regularly has left room for some musing over where I'd like to go, and what I'd like to do, now that I have the luxury of some breathing room instead of the constant flurry of production.

I've realized that I'd like to keep striving to work in my dream houses, but I've lost the need to be perpetually in show after show. The few weeks of breathing room to pursue some hobbies, enjoy the at-home night life, cooking, and seeing my spouse is very nice for a while. My design portfolio is now full on every page, forcing me to rip out pictures and glue over top for new additions. I keep trying to take on one new theater per season. This season, I already have three.

This leaves time for a personal life again. What a strange feeling. I'm trying to work out once a week again this year. I've started making a conscious effort to add healthier foods to my diet, especially in the gaps between eating-on-the-go. I've mostly removed pop from my diet, replacing it with juice at home for my sweet beverage. After some success designing my own line at an antique store (I sold enough things to feel it was a profitable experience), but discovering at the time that I needed a more secure way to make money, I've decided to try again on Etsy. Alan and I had time for church last week. (That sounds bad, but Sundays are work days for actors) I've starting making dates with friends from past shows to try and cultivate a teeny social life. I'm looking at taking tap dancing classes again.

There is much still to do, but I'm getting better about pacing myself. It's nice to have moments to breathe.

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Another Year, Another Resolution

It's a new year. I'll admit to having forgotten to kiss my husband at midnight, as we were in the final minute of a Doctor Who episode. There was champagne. We kissed at 1am.

I completed my first ever serious New Year's goal from 2013. I wanted to try to get a little healthier and more toned by working out 52 times last year. With a couple of hour-long segments towards the end there, and three workouts in a row those last few days of December, I squeaked it out at the end. I've decided to make the same goal for next year - and am contemplating adding another 25 home yoga sessions. I made my new kindergarten-style workout chart complete with stickers for every workout completed. It's VERY motivating. Everyone, at heart, is 5 years old. Getting to color in a progress chart or checking a box works, too.

Today I have first fittings for The Nerd at lunchtime and then my family is celebrating a late Christmas together with Miles and Becky. I managed to finish the gifts last night after dinner. With the run of Les Miserables going through the holidays, I had anticipating hours of backstage time. However, in this show, my free time is sucked up by costume changes, and I have only about 45 minutes of crafting time per show. So, all of my carefully planned homemade Christmas gifts, plus Alan's amazing birthday gift (just learned to knit with it - and I'm SOOOO close to finished!) took up more time than I had, in the end.

Doctor Who is a new obsession. Everyone backstage is geeky, and I finally got on the bandwagon. Up until midnight last night, every episode of the reboot was On Demand. But Comcast giveth, and Comcast taketh away. I'll have to sign up for Netflix.

I'm sure there should be more reflection on the old year, and the new one to come. Last year was a good year. This year is shaping up to be a good one. I had an interview for a job I'm very excited about - we'll see if it comes to pass. Alan also has had a surprising job prospect, which is a much longer shot - but came out of the blue. This may be an exciting year, and if none of the "special" options come to pass, we'll at least have a busy and productive one.

Happy 2014 everyone!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Why I'm glad I DIDN'T get a nose job.

Most people who know me, know this story. While I was working in Southern California, I rubbed elbows with several former Disney actors and Vegas Crooners. I met them through the pianist at the lounge on the resort, and eventually was invited to their Thursday night soiree to help fill in after the "regular joe" singers got up. It was upscale kareoke in the lobby of the hotel.

A year later, while touring with my first educational theater gig, I got a call. One of the Disney actors wanted to offer me a nose job to help my career. He and his wife thought I was too pretty to let it get in the way. At 23 years old, this was kind of devastating. I told them I'd think about it. After much consideration, and several days of feeling just butt-ugly, I realized a few things:

1. I do stage work, not film. If I'd wanted to go the Hollywood route, perhaps having some things corrected that would be a disadvantage on a television or movie screen would be understandable. I'd never had any interest in getting out of theater.

2. A professional opera singer and mentor of mine in college once told me that I had a stage face that she and a lot of other performers would kill for.

3. My nose was perfectly functional. The breathing was working well. Could I really justify having thousands of dollars spent on a cosmetic change. And how did that fit in with knowledge of global poverty - in light of people lacking necessities, was a cosmetic change worth it. (I'm not trying to negate all cosmetic surgery. I think the reasoning for it or against it is very personal. These were just MY concerns in justifying it within my own conscience. I don't expect everyone to reach the same conclusions.)

The end result - I didn't get a nose job. But a few years down the line my eyes rejected contacts, and I was too blind to perform without them. I sent a letter to my friend with a headshot and resume, asking if he would be willing to trade in his offered nose job (which I didn't need) for some lasik (which I did). Between he and my grandmother, my lasik was funded, and I ended up with new eyes instead of a new nose.

-------------------

Last year, after 5 years of trying to 'make it' as an actor, I got my first professional gig in a "Big House." I was hired because I could pass as Jewish for Fiddler on the Roof. In the callback, I wore only lipgloss and mascara, to emphasize my features.

A few days ago, I was called back for "Funny Girl."


So, in the end, I think it was a good career move. Of course I've done other shows that don't require a particular look. I do a lot of shows set in the 20's and 30's as well, because I my French heritage lends itself to a bob. In fact, at those callbacks, I always bob my hair and wear cat-eye makeup to show off that side as well. And I got cast in Les Miserables.

Thursday, August 08, 2013

How Tipping Works

"Tipping is still optional, after all. Unless a preset tip is worked into a bill (usually for large parties or banquets), the amount of extra cash a patron leaves at the end of a meal is up to him and based, supposedly, on the quality of service rendered. Sounds reasonable. However, there are many variables that interrupt a seamless implementation of this fairly simple notion.

One such variable is the tip-out policy. Almost every restaurant I've worked in has required that servers tip out a certain percentage of their tips to other workers. The tip-out where I work now is as follows: 15 percent to the busboy, 8 percent to the bartender, 5 percent to the hostess, 5 percent to the food expediter, and 2 percent to the extremely underpaid wretch who makes the coffee drinks. [Rachel's note: At my restaurant, where I make all of my own coffee drinks, half of my non-alcoholic beverages, and all alcoholic beverages if the bussers are underage, hostess my own tables much of the time, clear plates, clean and reset my own tables unless a busser can stop making juices and help me, I still tip out 10-15% to the bussers, and 20% of my food sales to the kitchen)] The math is easy to do. In order to walk out the door with $100 in tips, I have to earn $155. On some nights my busboy, who services three waiters at a time, will actually make more than me. The bartender makes more than me every night.

The tip out doesn't really end there. Because servers are required by law to report all their tips. Regardless of whether or not a server declares [them], the government knows how much she has sold during the course of the year because her restaurant is required to report it. 10-15% of your sales is considered taxable income. To illustrate how this all plays out, I'll offer an example. Say on a given night I sell $1,000 in food and beverages. Say it's been an average night, and I've netted in $150 in tips. After I tip out, I'll have $97 left in my pocket. But shortly I will owe more of that $97 to the IRS, and that will be deducted from my hourly wage. In fact, the more I sell, the more I will owe, regardless of whether I've made any set percentage or now. If I am not tipped, or tipped badly, I will still owe a percentage of my sales. Guests who don't tip, therefore, are effectively costing their server money."

From "Waiting" by Debra Ginsberg.

Sunday, July 07, 2013

My new favorite author!

Who knew Madeleine L'Engle wrote so much? I'd read all of her children's books, and loved them, but found an adult book while looking through the "L" section of the used bookstore.

That's my new book buying trend. I pick a section of the store, and then grab everything off the shelves that looks interested. There's just too many books to be more particular, and I speed through them so quickly, I'm not always looking for a great book, but just an interested one for a couple of days' worth of commute. Also, at 5:15am, it can't be too deep. I'm barely awake. Ditto for the ride home. I often pass out on the train as soon as I sit down.

Summer is my favorite time to read. As a child, we used to walk to the library every few days, where I'd pick out a stack of books, bring them home, and read them one after another. My favorite thing about waitressing is all the reading I get to do during the commute.

It's wonderful that my husband is a reader as well. Every place we go, we can count on amusing ourselves at an Antique Mall and a Used Bookstore. We have 9 bookcases in our 650 square foot house. Plus extra stacks on our bedside tables. Yesterday we went to Half-Price Books to scope things out in advance of today only's 50% off one item coupon that came in the mail. Alan got a "History of DC Comics" book, and I grabbed the 4th Book of a Madeleine L'Engle series. I'd bought the first yesterday, and went to ABEbooks.com to purchase the other two.

If you've never been to ABEbooks, you should look it up immediately. It's the online conglomeration of all of the independent booksellers. They often have rare and out of print books, and sell things generally cheaper than Amazon. I picked up two books from two different booksellers for a total of $7.50.

I love finding a new author, and devouring everything they've writted\n. I feel that Madeleine L'Engle will have a permanent spot on my bookshelves, in my Inklings Section.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

A Doozy of a Day

Yesterday at work the dumbwaiter that carries our food from the kitchen in the lower level was on the fritz, so for the early part of our morning we had to run up and down the hill carrying drinks down for room service, and our own food up. Relief came at 8:00 when the busser our boss brought on came in to do the running. The repairman fixed it by 10:30, but then we had an unexpected lunch rush that filled our restaurant until 1:45. I was one tired girl last night.

Today is going to be a busy one. I have show laundry and repairs to return for A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. I have alterations to complete one day early, so I can drop off a rush repair and tomorrow's regular alterations at the same time. I have to go strike Gypsy costumes, which have been on hold for weeks while the theater makes dry cleaning arrangements. I have a meeting at 4pm on the Northeast side of Seattle for Les Miserables. I have to complete show laundry and mending for The Magical Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. I have another Summer Camp to put up - though it can wait until tomorrow, when I have another work day if I need it. Then, finally, after enough office work to keep me off the road until rush hour has cleared up, I should make it home around 7:00 or so.

I'm signing off now.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Another hum-drum day...

Today was a day. A typical summer day for me.

I've gone back to waitressing at my little cafe near the Market. We're getting close to not needing me to take on the seasonal job, but it's quite a bit of money fairly quickly, it gets us caught up on the artistic year if we've fallen behind (as tends to happen - since theater work is notoriously sketchy on pay dates), and it's nice to have a break from creativity for a few months.

My typical day finds me waking up at 4:30, doing my hair and putting on makeup at an hour that feels ridiculous to be in bright lipstick, then leave at 5:05 to catch the 5:22 train from the South side of Seattle to Downtown. It's about a 40 minute ride with no need to park downtown, and gives me a good chunk of time on both ends of my day to read (or sometimes, nap). Then, just after 6:00am, I toodle down to my local big-name coffee shop for a vanilla latte and a chocolate croissant. This is MY time: the reason I get up half an hour early. This is my 20 minutes to ease my way into the day before having to go full blow into customer service. As a former night owl, my inner rhythm has gotten increasingly "morning" geared after many years of early jobs, but I still need some time to wake up before I must be pleasant to anyone. When I lived and worked with my Sister the year out of college, we made a rule. She couldn't speak to me until I'd gotten out of the shower. Better if I had a cup of coffee first, too.

At 6:25 I walk the easy block to work. It takes me half an hour to set up, and the doors open at 7:00. It's a long day for a waitress. The average shift for most servers is 5 hours. My place works me almost 10. The turnover is just under 30 minutes per table, and we stay plenty busy from 7:00-11:00, and sometimes until 1:00. Then we attempt to get the sidework all done in the remaining two hours so that we can sweep, mop, do our checkout and leave as quickly as possible after we close at 3:00.

My 2nd favorite part of the day is the end. I love getting to walk down to the Market and feeling both very French and very Seattle-y, heading to the Market and picking out the evening's vegetable, tomorrow's fruit snack, maybe a few flowers, or a cookie and a used book at the Sanitary Market across the street. Perhaps it was a few too many viewings of Sleepless in Seattle, or the stigma of growing up in the small town a few hours away from "The Big City" which made an exotic day trip of my regular stomping ground. Every day, I get a little thrill.

I like waitressing. There are the usual difficulties: rude demanding customers who can't seem to be aware that there are other people in the restaurant, foreigners who sit too long and tip too little, teenagers who don't know how to tip at all, special orders, and fussy babies. Mostly, though, my day goes buy quickly. People are happy to be eating good food in a quick paced cafe, and getting back to site-seeing. I used to stew a lot more about the difficult tables. But now, other than a minor irritation that lasts until I close out their check, I pretty much roll through my day on an even keel, pocketing my cash when it's all over.

One older guy today made me wish I was the type of person who could sneeze on his food. I'm not. Never have. He and his wife were out for breakfast, and he made a special request order, following each sentence with - RIGHT? "You're going to give me two poached eggs, RIGHT? On an english muffin, RIGHT? And you're going to bring me another english muffin on the side, RIGHT?" I came back to refill his coffee; "That's decaff, RIGHT?" (I'd used my old standbye trick - serving the decaff in a different kind of mug than the regular coffees, to trigger my memory when I went back to refill). Eventually even his wife said, "Honey, she's got it." What I wanted to say was, "Hey. I have two college degrees and started a third. I got a 1380 on my SATs. I can remember decaff for the half hour you're sitting there." But sadly, you can't. They did tip fairly well. I'm thinking his wife made him do it for his poor behavior.

I'd forgotten since last year how much personal maintenance it takes to be walking 10 hours a day. I have a collection of heel creams, cuticle oils, lotions, shea butter body creams, oxfolients, scrubs, and salts. For most of the year they sit in a box in my bedside stand. I'll paint my toenails pretty regularly during the year, but rarely give myself a spa treatment. Then, two weeks into the summer, my heels crack, my tonails rub inside my shoes, my feet blister, and my fingers split open from all of the hand washing, dishwashing, and bleach sprays for the table. I begin a nightly ritual of shea butter cream-and-socks, neosporin and bandaids, and lotion and gloves, trying to get my hands and feet to heal before the next time I have to merge tabasco sauces with splitting fingers. It's not really decadent (and who cares if it is) - just a necessary part of keeping yourself workable.

I'm off now to soak and scrub my callouses.





Sunday, May 12, 2013

Ah....Theater (Theatre?)

It has been quite a stressful month-or-so. Late spring is my busiest production season. In addition to the usual string of shows, all of the year-long classes at the Studio begin having end of year performances (The Shakespeare Class and the Homeschool Drama Class), which are off the radar in my normal production schedule.

In addition, there has been much drama with a show I recently costumed, which was difficult to put up, was recast halfway through the run (which meant re-costuming, as the new actress couldn't wear the original costumes), and then the original actress returned. I'm four shows past it now, in the two weeks since that one opened, and still dealing with the fallout.

I'm currently doing a one weekend only run of Singin' in the Rain with the most amazing cast of professional actors. It's a cast chock full of people I've seen in productions at the best houses in town. Now I'm sitting in a room with them all week enjoying meeting people that were much discussed backstage during Fiddler. They really are that talented. I asked the girl playing Lina if she was also daunted to receive a cast list with SO MANY asterisks in it. (Asterisks notate actors who are a member of the Actor's Equity Union - IE, well paid professional stage actors) She admitted that she was daunted as well. Last night was the first performance, and was well-received. Today is the last. It's very sad to work for such a brief time with this amazing group.

Next up, I have to mount Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, and Leading Ladies. Then summer is upon me, and waitressing recommences...

I'm looking forward to waitressing this summer. This season has been loaded with experiences, and I'm tired and needing a break before a burnout happens. It will be nice to have free summer evenings, as neither Alan nor I are rehearsing anything for the near future. Alan begins rehearsing 39 Steps in late July, and I have no upcoming acting gigs at the moment. I do have a callback for a show around Christmas, but we'll have to wait and see on that one...

Friday, March 29, 2013

Closing Day

It's closing day of Pinocchio. (Insert sight of relief from entire cast and crew) It's not that I haven't been having a good time. It's a wonderful job! However, I'm going into a very busy stretch for the next two months, and it will be very helpful to have my whole day to work, instead trying to put in a few hours after arriving home exhausted and ready for jammies at 3pm.

I realized this morning, after firing off a 3rd request for being reimbursed for a budget I fronted for a show that is now closed, that I am becoming less patient. Or perhaps less of a doormat. Alan calls this my Terrier mode. I am quite polite for the first two requests, but after that, I need to be paid. Now. I'm a professional. This is how I earn my money. And, I'm not afraid to begin the small courts claim process if I'm really annoyed.

In any other industry, it is unthinkable to not pay bills. But somehow in theater, things fall through the cracks, everyone is struggling, and there's often an attitude by the theater staff that we should be lucky to be paid at all, or worse, the idea that "We're struggling, so all of you should be thrilled to pitch in and help us survive by agreeing to accept pay late, or less pay, or wouldn't you like to donate your fee back to the theater?" Some people can, and do. I can't. And I'm kind of ticked off when they extend contracts, and and then act shocked when you try to enforce them. "Well, NOBODY is getting paid," they say with wide eyes, " We're not getting paid either."

Uh huh. That doesn't really count as an answer to: "When will I get my money?."

Most of the places I work are great, or fine. I get paid on time. I get budgets when I need them. And if they really truly can't pay me, they are very apologetic, and tell me when they will be able to. Now that I'm hemming twice as many pants, I'm not counting on my theater money to pay rent. But, a contract is a contract. I still pay bills and plan vacations with my costuming money.

This year, Alan and I came out significantly ahead of where we were the year before. But we still have financial goals we are working towards. We want to keep travelling once a year or so. We've paid down our debt, and one more really good year will finish it off. I'd like to start converting credit card payments we are no longer making into (gasp) health insurance and a RothIRA. But any little hicough at this point can still derail us. Especially when we were both working on the same project, and neither of us get paid at the same time.

But things are better than they were several years back. We have the luxury to be more choosy. And now is a good time for us to re-evaluate where we would like to work next season, based on our experiences this season.

(And I'm going to stop typing now, because I started this post this morning, and finished it after our last performance, and everyone who wasn't driving had champagne before we left for home....)

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Looking the Part..

I get a lot of comments about how put together I am most of the time (these people are usually not the ones seeing me roll out of bed, throwing on workout clothes and a hair band and running out the door to put Fox makeup on). In a city like Seattle, where casual dress rules, and black polar fleece is your "dressy" coat, it doesn't take much effort to be the most dressed-up person in the room.

When it would be perfectly acceptable to go to all but the dressiest of occasions (weddings, etc) in jeans, why do I choose to dress up most of the time?

I'm sure it's a combination of factors: Partly, because I went to college in the South, where for most of four years I was the most casual woman on campus, and the only one without makeup. Partly because I spent a year out of college touring with a theater company, so makeup went on in the evenings after a day setting up for the show. I also spent 7 months in Cambodia, where any makeup I put on would sweat off within minutes. So, while I'm comfortable going around with a naked face if I have to, I prefer dressing up when I get a chance.

Another reason is the "What Not To Wear" philosophy, which I had discovered for myself when I was on tour. For the duration of my time with the dinner theater, I was the Kitchen Manager, and part of my duties included leading my own crew plus a team of volunteers to break down our travelling kitchen and pack it back into the trailers at the end of each night. At the time, for convenience's sake, I generally wore patched jeans, my uniform polo, and a headscarf, with my stage makeup have been recently removed. After overhearing several older male volunteers refer to me as "the little girl in the headscarf," I filed the idea away that, without makeup, at 5'2", to most older people, and especially older men, I could be mistaken for a teenager. I repeated this experience one day at the Thrift Store I managed. While managing the Costumes for the professional Opera in my college town, I'd noticed the same reaction from the older Tenor in the show. He treated me very differently as I ran around in my work clothes than he did at the cast party, when I had on a red dress and lipstick.

Upon moving to Seattle to begin forging a career as an Actress and Costume Designer, it was natural to dress up for auditions. How to dress for Costume Design Gigs took some thought. I chose to go into my first interview dressed to the nines. I had a very small collection of photos of my past costuming work, and no design degree. But what I did have was the ability to look professional, and to do research ahead of time to present. I got the first gig. I got another gig in film after that. A few films later, I was dressing an older Equity actor, and he told me that I was "The best-dressed costumer in Seattle." He treated me well, and gave me no problems.

From that point on I've made a personal decision to always look well when presenting myself as a designer. It inclines the women in the cast to trust that I'll dress them well if I dress myself well. The men I work with (either as production team, or in the cast) are more inclined to take direction from me. The parents of the children I'm costuming know from my appearance (they've told me) that I look like someone they want to have teaching their children how to wear clothes. So all in all, win-win.

Now, a lot of people I speak with say they don't have time to dress up. I've found this to be a cop-out. Dressing well doesn't actually take more time. if you go about it in the right way. The fastest clothes you can throw on your body is a dress and shoes (two pieces). It only takes me about 5 minutes longer to "dress up" than to walk out of my door with undone hair and a naked face. My full "ready to go" routine takes 40 minutes, including time for a bowl of cereal and a cup of tea.

Here are a few tips I've found that facilitate looking good, without taking more time.


1. Have a few flattering knit dresses. They're fast to put on. They can dress up with heels, or down with tights and boots. It's quick and easy and looks great.

2. Invest in a few Pashminas. They quickly finish off an "outfit" without any work picking out jewelry. They coordinate a slightly mismatched look, they can be a shawl if you end up in a cold restaurant or workspace, they can quickly cover your hair if it starts raining, and they look perfectly fine over a jacket, too.

3. Wear tights. I can cut 2-3 minutes off a shower if I'm running behind by not shaving my legs. For casual looks, footless tights and ballet flats look great.

4. Purchase hot rollers. That allows you to set your hair and put on makeup in the same 5 minutes, and generally, hot roller curls last longer than curling iron styling.

5. Minimize your makeup/hair routine. It shouldn't take an hour to put on evening out makeup, and less time for day wear. My day face is less than five minutes. I throw on my moisturizer just before I dry my hair. That lets it set prior to makeup application. Then I roll my hair (2 minutes), put on liquid foundation and powder (less than one minute), pat on cream blush on my cheekbones (5 seconds), use a Stila liquid eyeliner brush to line my top lid (10 seconds), add Mascara (15 seconds), and throw on lipgloss (10 seconds). That's my 2-minute face. Then I pull out the rollers and hairspray. Thanks to waterproof eyeliner, the look stays all day, and the only makeup I need to carry is lipgloss in my purse.

Ladies, it's not hard to look our best. Looking well makes us carry ourselves better, increases the initial reaction from people we interact with (though that's just the first impression. What matters in the end is your personality, work ethic, talent and ability), and why not start out a few steps ahead, rather than having to work hard to make people respect us "in spite" of our appearance.

Alan and I were having a similar discussion earlier this week about prepping for an audition. A friend was asking how to prepare a headshot and resume. The question was asked, why bother? Shouldn't talent and presentation matter more than whether or not you cut off the messy edges, or format your columns into pleasing lines? Of course the talent should be the important thing. The neatest resume in the world won't get you cast in a musical if you can't sing. But do you want your first impression to be carelessness, or lack of ability to follow directions?

The same can hold true to appearance. We are taught that personal appearance shouldn't matter. That's true to a point. Personal appearance shouldn't be the only thing that matters. There are far too many women who have bought into the idea that being beautiful and holding onto youth is the driving force in life. (I should know. I worked for them in Southern California) But there are more women; talented, driven, professional, fun, lovely women; who have gone to the other extreme. We have been setting out be taken seriously, and forgotten how to be feminine. I believe there is room for both. You can be professional and stylish. You can be busy and put together. And I believe, in the end, the benefit to looking like we respect ourselves, and enjoy our appearance, can only add to the collective attractiveness of our whole selves.